im scared

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this is how i feel rite now..its tough i mean the nxt 5 days...
its called plt field camp..ex spade n ex zebra...for people to see the word spade..
yup..its SPADE..im goin do things that even bangala wont do...
it honestly feels like shit noein wat is goin to happen very soon..
in 3hrs..i be in..i be regimental..i be w/o smile..god..
i was a very cheerful n happy guy..that wa in the past..
i thought of depression..no..im fine..im juz....not lovin it..
as said..im losin myself..my patience..my happiness..my style..
its realli realli sad..
after book in..big inspection..i mean big..pack up..get screw..zzz for tom
mondae..go on bus to hell..marsellin jungle..oh my..im scared...
battle course..a lot of mosquito..camo with sweat..a lot of bites...
unpack..eat combat..oh my..eeeee..pukes..go for battle course..
12..1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10..11..12..powder..spread sheet..zzzz
tues 5am..battle course..12pm..zzz wher is the time? its spent goin up the hill down the slope...
wed..seccom...lead men to attack...ex zebra..timings..scoldins..
thurs n fri..ex spade...shellscrap x 2 trench x2 com post x1..if i can get thru that..
i can get thru anything..no zz..
wana dig non stop for 30hrs anyone?
fri..keep all..sat..comehm...
no book out..haiz..
its been a hard last week..
im sorry everyone..im feelin down...im feelin depress...
now im a bit better...
i think i should take things lighter..
love fam n dear...
god pls take care of them when i cant...
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