=(

wonder why my life has been so listlesss these days.....
bf in Ns... miss him........
no time for my family too.......... feel so guilty............
i dun know what i am living for these days.......
work and tuition has made me a lifeless person.....
no joy, no hope, no purpose.....
been thinking a lot..... but wonder what i am thinking of........
miss my school days......
miss my dating dates......
miss my exam days.......... (at least there is a purpose)
miss my friends' outings...........
think i am too exhausted from work......
need a long long long break..................................

second day of field camp....

second day into darling's field camp.......
wonders how is he.... miss him....
again another working day....
but today is special...
no tuition after work.... fianlly can go home and eat with parents....
rest and relax......
it seems like a long long time since i can go home after work....
miss my friends too.......
miss spending time with them...... interview results are still not out....
wonder how i will perform.....
my life seems to be full of misses., anticipation....
exhausted.

feelings

back to work again..........
monday blues............
but at least he didn't called.....
that shows he is in field camp.....
a clerk that types no more,
a storeman no more......
he is back.....
back to where he wants to belong...
i dreaded working.....
dreaded not being able to see you....
but knowing you are back in there....
juz makes my day filled with flair....
though i miss you, my little soul...
i know our "parting" makes love grow........

composure

i sure have a lot....
but im fearing...
for the worst is waiting...
n the lite is fading...
get ur butt over that trench soilder...
get this typed for me clark...
whers my food storeman...
3 into 1...
which one?
god noes.

cheer up k...

To my dearest darling,

everything will be alright ya.......
no worries ya.....
no matter what happens, be it a disappointment or setback....
as long as our hearts are linked,
there's nothing we cannot overcome.......
plus you have a loving parents.....
who dotes and sacrifices for you...
Plus you have a heart that is full of desires and sincerity...
God will see and hear....
i am sure he will bless you in his special way...
darling, juz go with a heart that is light ya....
i am sure everything will be alright looking at all the hardened spots...
i love you.....

cheer up!

To my dearest darling,

Everything is going to be alright....
No worries ya.....
Even if its a clerk, storeman..some man...
it doesn't matter.... As long as our hearts are linked,
there is nothing we cannot overcome ya...
Plus you have such loving parents....
who are willingly to sacrifice so much for you....
i am sure everything will go well...
cheer up k!
Go with a light heart.....
coz God sees and God Hears....
i love you...........

will.....

when thers a will thers a way...
thank u god...
for bringing that back to me in my dreams...

lowest pt of my life...

can't believe wat happen to my life..they brought me to heaven and sent me to hell..
imagine a boy..of lofty ambitions..tryin to excel in everything he did..for who some asked..his parents?yes..they r old..they dun have much to live for except to see their son succede..his gf?for honour and glory?nope..juz to make himself stronger and better as a man..
for his country?definately a little..this boy realli wana defend the soil that he was riaised..every sweat..every cut..he wanted to give in and give up..be a man..some will say..he doesn't..he realise he can acheive better things..fight for more men..the higher he goes..
juz like he repeats everyday..i dedicate my life to singapore..
will u, my officers?
so he kept fighting..kept sheddin weight..kept trainin personalli.. he reached heighs he nvr imagined..it all paid off it seems..
the more we sweat in peace the less we bleed in war...he confided in it..believing it will see him thru..n till now everything was fine..
he could imagine holdin the sword..but it seeems yet to be
all of a sudden..some rash developed..ah muz be bites from mosquitoes..oh no..cant be chic pox..boy knew he had to report..he knew he will lose his sword..a direct fall from heaven not to earth but to hell..he couldn't accept the truth..it hurts if one noes how garang he have been...
its realli chic pox..saw the sir..thats it dot com...boy was absolutely devasted..had some tears in his eyes..if he cant make it by sundae..hes out..hes out?wats goin to happen...
the future turned real dark..god's will?he sincerly dun noe wat lies ahead..most prob hes goin to be a clark then be a clark..a man or be recoursed...either ways r all very very bad solutions..he cant handle the truth..but he muz...
went to see a doc that cost 358..wow..thats a huge sum...dad got him chinese med..he saw how much his family loved him..it made him felt worse..if thers anything he could do..he would rather go for the field camp even having fever..hes a little miserable..coz he noes his gf cares..that makes him wana prove himself..he cant give up the chancee..but he has to console his dad that his son juz cant make it as an officer..why? god?dreAms utterly crushed..
at times he looked to the sky for reason..he mug military stuff..
but the answer is simple and he noes it..he needs a miracle..
n here he made his promise..to train to be the best officer if he had a chance to resume...coz he wana protect his land..his men..his family..his future wife..

boy oh boy..

a nice working day...

today today today.... feeling so tired now... hope i can zz immediately now..... juz had my lunch.... was plain yong tau hu.... nothing special... feeling so sick now... wishes to go home and rest.. oh God, help me.... wake me up! ya... nothing to do now coz my colleague not here.. called another 2 persons for work, but they did not pick up..guess i will wait unitl they call back.. actually i can ask rina for work.. but i am so so lazy.... *lazy*
darling juz called me... and he told me about pimples.. hehezz... so funny.. but come to think about it, think it muz be the lack of zz, the heatiness in him.. i shall try to cook herbal tea this weekend.. haha.. first time again! so excited now... hahha... hope darling wun get diarhoea...
went to catch a movie last sunday.. quite nice a movie i got to say..:guess who".. white in black house... a lot of funny jokes.. not the type of show i will indugle in for a movie... think this show didn't make full use o'poemf the technology.... juz a drama.. couldn't forget the part on the dad using his son-in-law's love 'poem'.. so funny! wonder whether darling really enjoy himself... coz he ws sick... so soory dear.. next time we juz chilled out at your place k? no more gg out this week.. think your body needs plenty of rest now... gg back to work le... 3 more days to darling's book out... =)

finally see my baby...

darling, i am sorry.. didn't meant to be so rude today... ya.. thought you were angry..so i kept quiet... of coz i know i am holding your hand! ya.. you made the right point.. i have to cherish the time spent... shouldn't let saddness overwhelmed our day... juz thinking today why didn't you pull the chair for me.. when you told me you pull for other ladies.. *sobs* think i am super petty.. and narrow-minded.. and sensitive... but darlin, pls pardon this "small lady" in me coz it is only normal for girlfriendjuz a little jealousy..coz you are my only baby... the day started with us meeting at je.. oh no.. saw baby waiting but i wasn't late... baby was early...Hand in hand, we went to Bedok...he saw the pancake.. and guess he was disgusted by it.. coz i made it at ard 2am.. and keep it in fridge then warm it this morning... looks a little soggy.. oh mine.. no wonder he took a quick glance and guess no more desire for 2nd glance.. hehez.. reached bedok, ate our lunch... and PANCAKE! hhaa.. oh mine! it tasted really bad but darling managed to stuff in quite a few.. and guess what he said it taste great! at least i know he appreciated my efforts.... butya.. the honest feedback was of coz not too gd afterall....went to shop ard for specs and contacts lens.. and dardar managed to get quite a good deals..happy for him...given that the salesgirl was friendly and pretty as compared to 1 fierce aunty, my dardar decided to buy from her.. haha.. of coz not! that shop was cheaper and ya.. he did his previous spec from that shop too...
then we went down to Orchard.. reason was to get my oven! haiz... but ya.. the oven which was the last piece looks distorted , dirty and "used".. so ya.. have to drop the idea.. went ard to look for other 7-11 along orchard.. but to no avail... *sobs* *sobs* as always, my sweet baby secretly went to buy my fav. DOVE choco to cheer me up! awe..... that is so sweet.... love my baby! juz realize i always feel very secure when my baby is around... think my baby is so wonderful a bf! i am so lucky.. (o'',O) as we strolled, baby told me abt his life in OCS... FEEL SO SO ANGRY FOR HIM! haiz.. what happen to all the officer to be.. always thought they were supposed to be appreciative, polite, matured and kind.. but haiz.. feel very sad for dear.. coz he has to bear all these unappreciative ple.. rude and childish.. Thank God my darling has high tolerance level.. if not, i think he ould have erupted...darlin.. life isn't that bad ya.. at least you still have a happy family, alwasy behind you... and mrs liew who will try her best to be there too....darling, though i can't change them, but God can. i will pray that they do reflections upon themselves and realize how mean they had been.. its so tough on my baby... dun be demoralised k.. only got to be with them for a few months and everything will be over.. talk more to better ple k.. hurts me to see you being "bullied".. or maybe ya.. as what you said, " one only has one life, so live it! choose to be happy..." love my baby.. had a great saturday.

ocs

hey ther...me now using com in ocs...
thers this room in the cadets mess...
dear, i miss u...
ocs rawks!

life now

wow...got a bit of time here..
finalli can tok abt life...
ocs is a great place in terms of food lodging facilities
but it be bad in terms of trainin..
for frends...juz wana tell u all im so busy i have hardly got time for
my fam n my dear...
so sorrie pals but ocs is choking..n i repeat chokin me...
but nonetheless...im feelin gd
pt is tough...run run n run..thats ocs fav pastime..now i love 2.4k...
currently in st term...hopefulli can stay on...
better frends have left..navy n air wing...all e best...
buddy goonna go too...
sierra wing is like bravo coy...welfare seems to be gd...
but no less we sweat...
life goes on..hectic..high pace
+more pimples...
goin in soon to learn arms...
love dear
love fam
god bless all.

officers creed

im an officer of the singapore armed forces
my duty is to lead, to excel and to overcome
i lead my men by example
i answer for their trainin, moral and discipline
i must excel in everything i do
i serve with pride, honour and integrity
i will overcome adversity with courage, fortitude and determination
i deticate my life to singapore

sierra......
dear...im sorry i broke my promise but timing was realli bad
hope u accept my apologies

Parent(plus gf) visiting day

met up with darling! so so happy! =) eyes glimmered.... though its been only 5 days, its seems like years since i last met him... miss him...... he still looks the same, with the usual cute look and cheeky smile...=) not a lot of pimples darling....=) we went to tour around the whole of OCS.. wow! as what he always tell me, it is really awesome.... i must say that practically everywhere, it is very neat, clean and tidy... i was amazed that i saw no litters... wow.. went to the tower.. took a very small lift...and went all the way up...the magnificent sight coupled with the cooling breeze sums it all...... BEAUTIFUL. one could see the industrial area and neighbourhood from here... it is supposed to mean something but i forget what it is. hehehz... darling's bunk is so neat. The design is so hostel-like.. with 2 beds, 2 cupboards, 2 shelves and a long table wit computer.. i think i wouldn't mind having a room like that.. next, the most impt place, the dining hall.. wow... given that there is a stage, clean big tables... individual comfortable chairs... nice environment with wonderful circulation of air.. and even speakers which will have music on during meals time.. one can imagine the luxury of dining there.... haha.. at least i know my darling is well looked after... or maybe very well looked after.. =) after that, we settled down at a air conditioned recreation centre in OCS..(i forget the name again)hehez...with videos,comfortable sofas, high chairs.. and tables, nice tea, coffee, hot choco... wow..BUT i think darling hasn't had much time to visit there....As the saying goes,"can't judge a book by its cover", these are only the exterior... the training is tough...both mentally & physically tough..After all, think the main comfort i derived would be to have darling walking by me.. its seems like a very long time since i last walked with him.....think a simple walk means much when you can't be with your loved ones always.. Time flies, we needed to leave.... argh... dun feel like leaving at all... its gonna be ages before i get to see darling again... ya.... left in his dad's car.... started to miss somebody... somebody who is so close in heart but so far on land...... but ya.. its worth the wait darling.. coz deep in my heart i know that we really love each other.... 3 & 1/2 days and counting....=)