"disappointed with disappointments"but its finally solved....

To my darling,
i am ecstatic over your results! WELL done! your hardwork paid off..... your two years of studies wasn't in vain...
ya.. he met his GOALS! 4 As and a B3! =) given such good results, i am confident that he can pursue whatever he desires....... CONGRATULATIONS! and for mine... i find it satisfactory... mainly because of the C which looks so "unglamorous" on my cert that i feel like cutting it away.... but ya.. i have tried my best dear.. no regrets...... no regrets.. and life goes on... A B3 for Gp is definitely out of my expectation! wow! By zzing my way through Benjamin kong and Anand lessons will never lead me to a B3.. but somehow i made it.. very very very lucky..... i thank God for these results..its a miracle! be it my dear's.. be it mine.. be it my friends... Thank God. And now that i have achieved these results,dear i promised i won't be as slack as i used to be... i cherished my grades.. its really because of you that i stopped slacking and worked hard during my second year... Not only was LOVE showered, you reemphasized the importance of studies in me... sometimes you were the "bad" man who pressed on me to be diligent... haha..,. and i dreaded it... but ya.. is because of all your "yong xin liang ku", that made me a A level holder with good results! darling,for all that you have done, I LOVE YOU. *MUACKS* I finally taste the joy of reaping my seeds! =)
And for today, everything went weirdly bad.... from the beginning to end, think i was so cold to my darling that i rejected a goodbye kiss from my darling using my body language.... i am sorry my dear... i shouldn't have... its hurting i know but i was still feeling disappointed with the disappointments... i promise i won't be so cold whatever comes our way k?The
day started with us going to SUntec for the NTU talk... Being late is normal, but guess its not for darling... he was angry with himself for being late for the talk... thought he was angry with me for the delaying... clarified with him just now, he wasn't.. just disliked the ideal of being late... it seems like a disrespect to the speaker... awe.. so full of ethics..unlike me.. i shall try to learn more from him.. thats how we earn respect somehow...
Told my darling why i always cry, whenever i see him these days... and now that he finally knows, thinks he can be more assured now.. Drifting apart is the last thing i pray will ever happen to us... i don't want too... Never. I can't bear to lose you... Thus, i decided to tell you everything... all the things that i have been bottling up these days.. darling, i always tell myself i have to understand... its not that you don't want to spend time with me, its time is not by our side.. deep in my heart i really understands, but the emotions within me just cannot be controlled: layers of missing you, the amount of disappoinments encountered (whenever we can't spend more time due to some understandable reasons) the chocolates.. my physics.. i tried my best to be strong, its hard dear... tears welled up by itself.... i hope you understand.. making you feel worried and helpless is never my intention... In doing so, i have instilled some into you.. i will remove them from you k? maybe by kissing you more.. haha.. of course by confiding in you more.. ya.. i am glad everything ended... and you are PASSING OUT! awe... but i think i will have no time for you in the weeks ahead... but i will make time dear.. coz i really miss you......... life is very very very dry without you always by my side... and now that we have these 12 days, i will make sure we spend time......... i MISS YOU...i really do..............................