at sentossa 

continue...

Wow..its so long n i have so much of feelings in me..bookin in tomoroe..feelin nostalgi todae..u realli wana insight in my life?heres my breakdown..
5..wakie wakie..bros..i'll not forget..last to fall in 1st to eat..blurlook..pack stuff..wash up..pack bed..prepare myself for a new day...
530..fall in..always last few..include dicky n sloth..fs too..drink water..hey thers prob with tekong water dude..breakfast/arms..choose ur pick...
630..zz time..area cleaning restricted oni to book out daes...haha..
700..report for activity 1.."here we go again,same old shit again"..
10..activity 2.."lunch commin baby..hang on"
1130..lunch.."purple lite..."by tham..zzzz till 115
115..activity 3...
300..activity 4..im so hungry...
540..dinner..
7...nite stff..hopefulli thers snacks..most of the time too hopefull
9..pack wash call pull zzzz
11..lites officially out..
1130..zzzz
MY LIFE!...not too bad if u noe the activities n even greater coz of 58th bronco plt 1 bros

welcome to my life...

Wow..10 days have past since my blog leave..n todae i decide to share how my life has been in the past 2 month +...kudos for those who fought beside me...
"Can't forget,still remember"....wow..7/1/05..d-dae arrived..parted with a msg to my dear..was travellin with my parents..6+n had to reach camp by 730..tekong..they told me it is a fun place..relax..which i agree to some extent..had to sign a form...for those that still have no idea..its an indem form...2 yrs of ns..thats wat u signed..had a western meal..swore in to..."protect singapore till death"...had to part n a new chapter begins...
Wow..saw ming quan..3 yrs ago he was my specialist mate..udi..camp pin..kinda close even as he went rjc..always encouraging me to mug hard online..one true brother..always...got to noe dicky..who was my buddy..very cool guy 1st impression..but kinda arrogant..but yup..hes a great buddy...never arrogant like my 1st view..haha..saw joonie..a sidekick...n yup..thers tham..i guess this bro is another close dude of mine..real close..could share all problems..love..life..hes an inspiration but the nerd lookin guy izzen like wat he look like at all..hes.."yeah baby yeah"..
got to B coy..saw lta tang..but tang dynasty didnt last...
Haha..cant forget we got to our bunk..everyone was so quiet so not bonded...haha..xcept me n quan..n yup..i got my bed beside this hongkie looking wilson..whom i gotto say deserving is our bunk's best..he lead..n he chases peeps..haha..loves to hurry...haha..got to noe abt sloth..aka joses..haha coz he sloth in the last..till now i still got no idea wher he was late..n to sum it up..we have jacko..fs aka josphe haha..real fit..john..jeremy..ERIC..n another bro yong sheng...
Went to draw stores..change uni..coz i was shrinking..thats gd my dear...haha..60kg okie?
open up everything check them n put tem in..wow..super heavy realli HEAVY..lucki for us..the egyptians found rollers..went back to camp..started to intro..realise some people juz broke up some peeps attached some peeps dun like girls..haha..xclude the last i guess..went on to do bmt.."with my rifle n my buddy n me.."i knew 14 daes was long..it was...
N our charismatic oc,pc,ps,ss..first oc..lta tang..nice cute guy...too bad in uniform..haha..soon gone n 1st warren john silva took over..im full of respect for this guy..he had to stay with us in tekong even when he has a wife n 3 kids..u could see the tears in that man..the amt of work he did...n thers punia..aka delta force best..i can see why hes the best...he tore his ligaments too so poor silva.pc DZAR..aka brunei king..he does have sucha look..dunno much abt him at 1st but i gooto sae hes a strict men..a real disicipline soldier..everytime he screw me..for lettin go of my wife..or using hp late..i realise its becoz he wans me to amend my errors..to be a better man..
n here comes ramesh..the closet to us..a funni guy who realli cares..n not forgetin his loooooonnggg RO....haha...sgt daniel..my ss..a real gig...man whos always playin with SAF wiwves..nice guy nonethless..haha..almost got me dirty..but missed his chance..mr versatile...
PS lawerence..aka..csm..cqms..slacker..adf.."kan ni no nei"..haha..hes what i call charismatic.. all the "10sec f*&^ off" the..bulu...the"why platoon 1 WHY"..haha not forgettin "my mother called me "@#$ %$#"..hes realli a leader in every sense n as i always sae.."every platoon needs a lawerence,daniel nad ramesh"..
so that is my life..i lived at level 2..not near to toilet not near to pull up bar..n worst i sleep beside window..n i literalli mean beside..its the worst thing coz its a place wher theres max insect max dust..max watever...unbeilvable..thats wher i stay...

im back

haha..12 daes break from protectin singapore..a new journey begins.
but somwthings last forever.. my love for u dear.

CHUN DAO HE PAN 

"disappointed with disappointments"but its finally solved....

To my darling,
i am ecstatic over your results! WELL done! your hardwork paid off..... your two years of studies wasn't in vain...
ya.. he met his GOALS! 4 As and a B3! =) given such good results, i am confident that he can pursue whatever he desires....... CONGRATULATIONS! and for mine... i find it satisfactory... mainly because of the C which looks so "unglamorous" on my cert that i feel like cutting it away.... but ya.. i have tried my best dear.. no regrets...... no regrets.. and life goes on... A B3 for Gp is definitely out of my expectation! wow! By zzing my way through Benjamin kong and Anand lessons will never lead me to a B3.. but somehow i made it.. very very very lucky..... i thank God for these results..its a miracle! be it my dear's.. be it mine.. be it my friends... Thank God. And now that i have achieved these results,dear i promised i won't be as slack as i used to be... i cherished my grades.. its really because of you that i stopped slacking and worked hard during my second year... Not only was LOVE showered, you reemphasized the importance of studies in me... sometimes you were the "bad" man who pressed on me to be diligent... haha..,. and i dreaded it... but ya.. is because of all your "yong xin liang ku", that made me a A level holder with good results! darling,for all that you have done, I LOVE YOU. *MUACKS* I finally taste the joy of reaping my seeds! =)
And for today, everything went weirdly bad.... from the beginning to end, think i was so cold to my darling that i rejected a goodbye kiss from my darling using my body language.... i am sorry my dear... i shouldn't have... its hurting i know but i was still feeling disappointed with the disappointments... i promise i won't be so cold whatever comes our way k?The
day started with us going to SUntec for the NTU talk... Being late is normal, but guess its not for darling... he was angry with himself for being late for the talk... thought he was angry with me for the delaying... clarified with him just now, he wasn't.. just disliked the ideal of being late... it seems like a disrespect to the speaker... awe.. so full of ethics..unlike me.. i shall try to learn more from him.. thats how we earn respect somehow...
Told my darling why i always cry, whenever i see him these days... and now that he finally knows, thinks he can be more assured now.. Drifting apart is the last thing i pray will ever happen to us... i don't want too... Never. I can't bear to lose you... Thus, i decided to tell you everything... all the things that i have been bottling up these days.. darling, i always tell myself i have to understand... its not that you don't want to spend time with me, its time is not by our side.. deep in my heart i really understands, but the emotions within me just cannot be controlled: layers of missing you, the amount of disappoinments encountered (whenever we can't spend more time due to some understandable reasons) the chocolates.. my physics.. i tried my best to be strong, its hard dear... tears welled up by itself.... i hope you understand.. making you feel worried and helpless is never my intention... In doing so, i have instilled some into you.. i will remove them from you k? maybe by kissing you more.. haha.. of course by confiding in you more.. ya.. i am glad everything ended... and you are PASSING OUT! awe... but i think i will have no time for you in the weeks ahead... but i will make time dear.. coz i really miss you......... life is very very very dry without you always by my side... and now that we have these 12 days, i will make sure we spend time......... i MISS YOU...i really do..............................

oh....

well well..finalli got the results..very surproised..very..by both our results..
thank god goe helpin us thru these tides...
still remember my dear was so worried..she said she didnt do well..but have mug hard..
realli worried that she will get things like BCD...worried she cant get into uni..
worried she cant be a teacher..worried she cant reatain..more worried for her than meself..
although my boat was shaking..hers was like sinkin..realli worried..
AAC..not bad i gotto sae..gd enough to go for a lot of courses..now worried that she doesn't noe how to use her results well..n yup..shes working..hopefulli she realise that come june..she will be back to studies..n as i sae..STUDY is realli impt..for now at least..yup..hopefullli my dear..u can make a decision bymaybe 11 march..then opt for some ntu course..some nus course..n pay up the appli fees n oso..try some scholarships.. dear..ther is realli a lot of paperwork..promise me to get it done k..i'm worreid for u..
at times..i cant find time to worry abt myself..for i think so much abt u...
for me..very lcki wth 4a..shocked my parents..i mean with all their surpport..all their car n concern..i wana be someone in life..no doubt im worried abt whether love n study can be complimented..but my ans is yup, it can.my goal in life..get some bank related scholarship..study buiz n acct..work real hard..haha..no need to sign on to the army..haha..but i muz work hard...for i satisfaction n my fam n my dear..

dear..u r always part of me..or another word..u have me...

love u.

dear..wow..so many things happen on my birthdae..but for all that u have done...
i cant help saying...
i love u.

CONGRATULATIONS!

darling darling... i have been not working for one month le! so boring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but ya.. i am starting tmr as admin assistant at centros.... bueno vista.. #07-01.. under A star.. so ya.. dear, dun worry ya.. its admin!

haha. guess what? my darling got SILVER for his IPPT! great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! very good! feel super happy for him! CONGRATULATIONS! i am so proud of you... a lot of improvement made! no more straineous exercise.. think now more slack le... =) =) =)
yup! now that his birthday is approaching... wondering when to do his gift.. got him a gift le... think he may not really wear.. think it is nice.. but not super nice.. aiya.. oko1 no choice1 he still muz love it! hheehezz... yup!
think gg out to get primary english for my tuition kids le... weather very hot! i miss darling very much! think i go do house work later... think i will go run 4 km later1 think i miss him........... weather too hot le! maybe shld go and zz now....... hahahzz.... bye byez..

the day i met his parents.... 

first meeting after ns 

NS. 

bookin in..

dear..juz saw u to tution...yah..still worrying for u...dear..if possible can dont give tution..i mean im kinda worried..scared that bad things might happen to u..saw u enter the house n i feel so worried n helpless..for my sake..pokka k?..or some admin jobs..think for a girl its so dangerous..pls k..i was lingerin at the block to 340..dear..im worried..realli hope that god protects n oversee u..make sure that no bad things happen to u...if ther be bad things..pls..i pray that god transfer them to me...dear..pls k..to make me assured k?...
im sorrie that i've said some things to hurt u..the dresscode was aweful..but i shant be so mean n harsh..but yah juz hope u dress more appropreately k?
im n=bookin in real soon..hope u can re-asssure me..work in safer enviroments k?
for my sake..
i love u.

wat a satdae

hey hey...haha..dardar im back le..wow..realli had a wonderful nite last nite...
army was once again sticky...went in o sat to realise that oni bravo n charlie..haha..hide n seek dear?..booked in..haiz..sat nite..end of cny..got to camp n then next few daes was sit test..
think i absolutely screw it up..see u all in sispec..situations differ..n the 2 im in charge was quite diff..but yup..no excuses..haha 12k routew march was not as easy as i think..realli..i almost give in..realli..n my walking buddy terence was singing..haha..i almost lost my cool..haha..coz i didnt want words to hmyn in my mind which is so focus on completin 12k..but yup..i didnt allow the devil to take over..instead i was quite happi with myself coz at the last stretch..i cheered on with my platoon..real brotherly..kudos to u all..reach camp for sit test..n soon test ended..haha..i didnt eat any meal pack for 3daes..biscuits n maggi was all i live on..finalli went back to camp..food was awesome..realli..n yup..slack for most of the time xcept for shooting..haha..thers oso a company zzing hr..haha..yup..n book out..saw her at pasir ris..then ate my dear's jelly..its realli nice..realli..not kiddin..kind of impressive..went to eat with the whole family..6 of us..think my dear muz been very happi coz my fam was so welcomin..decided to catch hide n seek at suntec at 1135..wow..not bad a show..its quite horrific though..coz its a psycopath show..but yah for all..
go watch it...charlie..haha..dardar izzit 206?haha...did something very wrong..realli endangered hers n my life..dear..im absolutely sorry..muz acept my apologies k..it was a geniue mistake coz im so tired n contacts didnt work well..although i felt safe..it muz have been the worst road crossin for my dear..as i've promise..i shall NEVER be a road hazard k..but if the road crossing was scary then the show was terrible..wonder why am i watchin to 2 abt some horrific show.. but i guess by the end of the show..i didnt had much strenght to think abt charlie..sent her to her doorsteps at 140 n reach hm by 2..ko?not yet..had to do some stuff online..gg see u soon again dear..love u always.

my dalring's booking out today! lalaa...=)

i am glad.!!!!! hehezz.. he is booking out today at 6pm! gg to see him soon...... its been a week since i last saw him.. everyday staying at home.. so boring.. went for interviews without him.. felt weird intitally... but ya.. got to take care of myself and start learning to be independant... are you proud of me, my dearest darlinG? =)
heard he got a lot of bruises and wounds... i can't do much, a little helpless.. ok! gg to rub for him later... gg to bring zappel..to all who is reading this, pls pray for my little darling too... protect him from anymore injuries..
gg to meet his parents the second time today! very nervous! wondering what to wear.. ran 4 km today to ensure my shape is maintained.. hope everything turns out well.. gg to try more clothes later...
okok... i am all sweaty and dirty.. gg to shower..... see you later darling! =)

a nicey surpprise.........

haha! i RECEIVED DARLING'S ECARD AND LEtter le! =) surprise! its one day after valentin'S DAY... BUT STILL VERY SWEET.... yup! but guess what happen? my sweet sweet darling mail me cookies! hahahaz..... in an envelope... and ya.. it was crushed and repacked somehow... hmm.. haven open.. gg to show my darling.. haha.. see what he got to say...haha.. but that was definitely a very sweet thought, coz i like cookies! ya.. and somebody called me to go for interview! very happy! been waiting since i sent my resume.. it was really a pleasant surprise...but mag has to go back to new zealand today... so ya.. know i am definietly gg to miss her laughter... went out to do my hand paraffin treatment today.. haha.. the wax so hot.. and it was so fast.. think the ple juz want to try to draw customers.. coz she try promoting mary chia as i was doing the treatment...haha.. then went to meet up with xia... and benson.. haha.. then they treat me to dinne at marche.. yeah! oko.. i am a free loader for a while..and the food was delicious though expensive.. then we went jalan jalan.. xia bought 2 bras.. nice i think.. thought could buy darling's birthday gift.. but no size.. aiyo.. no much time le.. oh no. how ar? shall shop again... ya.. keep shopping and shopping. until so tired.. then i went off earlier to see mag off...... ya.. met up with yen leng.. and haha she was late... opps! yen leng leh.. she is never late de....sh\\and she rmb to get me the mircosoft excel... still as helpful...... ya.. met up.. kind of sad that mag is leaving.. but ya.. life goes on... we will always keep in contact.. saw zhi rui and she cried a lot of times.. haizz.. i can't do much.. darling, what shld i do best ar? quick be back from SIT test, i need your advice...talking abt darling, i miss him............................ ya.. went to maken.. marie say i looks nice in the outfit.. hahaz.... had a tiring but ya nice day... darling, sig says she really loves zr, but they broke up now.. darling, i love you and i wun break up..................... aiyo.. went home and kian zhi msg me! he is in my darling's company.. thought dearie is back.. but nope.. kz is sick so didn't join the field camp.. oko..what a false alarm.. i really can't wait to tell dalring abt today and everything else.....and he is coming back tmr1 alright one more day to go.... i love you...... 4 days and counting...

HAPPY VALENYTINE'S DAY!

this year i am spending my v day with the 6 bros.... met mag very early... very good! she was so nice.. coz i called her while she was zzing.. but she still came out with me.. hahazz.... and i heard that zhi rui and sigmund broke up..... it came as a shock! a very very bad surprise... bacoz he fell in love with another girl... how sad.. or maybe including other reasons too... haiz.. this is a super sad news.. i really feel very sad for zr... my hearts cry out to her.. was imagining what will i do if i was her... so dear darling, pls dun break my heart k? ya.. went online a few times, no e card leh.. how come? today v day leh.. sobz... check mailbox also no 2nd card... hmm.. dear dear are you kidding me.. but nvm.. coz my darling has always tried his best to make everyday like v day... so yup! i am not super sad... though i saw lots of couples on the street... i cut my haor on v day darling.. though you aren'y the first to see, you shall be the first to hold your "brand new gf" hands.. hahahzz... ya.. fringe super short.. not super nice i muz admit.. =) but the 6 bros say its nice.. alright! then it shall be nice... i went to hand in timesheet too.. haha.. and i got a ang pao from my colleague in unity pharma... miss ann very nice! haha.. =) dine with 6 bros at sushi teh.. delicious! has a great time chatting and laughing...
as i saw the couples, somehow i thought of my dalring.. here and there.. but i am not upset.. coz i know is not he dun want, is he can't... hoping that he will be fine througout his field camp..
its a test! dear lord, let him pass with flying colours k!i pray for his safety, good body and ya no abrasions! 3 days are gg to pass quickly.. can't wait to hear his voice... 5 days and counting.... =)

a nice saturday in overall...

its sunday.. and my darling's back to camp le... kinda miss him again... so fast.. 4 days have passed... yesterday went out with dear for the last time in this week... so so fast.. ya! but at least we have spent 3days togetehr in 4 days break.. very contented le... ya.. dear came to my place early in the morning..9am! wow... still drooling leh dear... then he got me two char siew bao! so sweet! and it was DELICIOUS! haha.. dear saw me before i brushed my teeth..very smelly and dirty i muz say... hahaz.... then i went to brush teeth and stuff.. then we went to see our vday couple shirt! not super nice actually.. but i know deep in our hearts , we love them! gonna wear them one day... giess what? then we went running... hahahahzz.. darling i would rather kiss than run(i wrote this in your outbox, check it out!)... gg get so sweaty and stinky... haha.. we ran one round and i compliant i am tired.. hahah.. think darling very poor thing coz my pace to him is super slow.... but ya.. darling,thats my usual pace...darling said i got belly!!!!!!!! so next time muz run faster...to get rid of it..... boo...darling join dave and company and played soccer... dear was cool! he scored one goal! and helped the team that was originally losing at the beginning...street cosser has got a lot of footwork...thne we wemt back and out.. then we stroll down to the 187 bus stop and shared a one person seat together.. haha.. so squeezy and crampy.. haha.. but very loving ritez????? hehez.. we went to jurong point... to get my vday card.. hahah... and sat at long john to write my card.. i wasn't peeping k dear.. we ate and drank then dear got to rush home for dear's cny visitation.. and so i tagged along until we reached his place.. and i gave a vday peck on his cheek and bid goodbye...so that was the end of our last day... miss him...
at night i went to xia's place for cny visitation and then xia came to my place... her parents say i slimmed down..wow.. as slim as her le.. but that's impposible la.. xia's so slim.... we had pizza and i saw her bear...so adorable.! darling, i want! very very cute and its non furry.. most IDEAL! think we end off the day like this.. and my ah gim also came to my home.. and we chatted.. a nice day in overall.. its another 6 days and counting le.... =)

haha..botak boy here..

yeah..had a gd 4 dae rest..gg book in in 2hrs time..dun understand why is my coy bookin in todae oni..but i guess b is for the best...had a great newyr..1st remark is i 've slimmed..me think so too..hopefulli can reach 62kg..then shld be super fit..but yup..realise i lost my strength too.. dear..i love u..think we realli send loads of great times together..sorrie i cant spend v dae with u.. i love u..ns calls..n i noe u understand..got a couple shirt..love it..had a little soccer..saw dave n company..thks for soccer..watches constantine with her..adore her..3 star show for me..went to my houses..i sure got loads of relatives..n angpaos too..so glad my parents were fond of her.. thank god..missing her now..feeling tired yet fustrated..goota book-in..army..2yrs..think this song sums it up..training to b soilders..fight for our land..once in our life..2yrs of our time..have u ever wondered..why muz we sereve..coz we love our land n wan it to be free to be free..
thinkin abt v-day last yr..wow..our relationship realli grew..thers soccer tonite..haiz..my life is certainly stressful..so many things i wana do..so little time...but i noe something..something that will always stick with my soul..i love u,dear...i love u,family...i promsise..ns will make me a stronger and better man.

we were sharing one seat.. haha.. after running?

i met his parents le............................ =)

wow! woke up very early this morning... 830am? to go jogging! very very nervous! coz i've got to meet his parents! FIRST TIME! very scared..... muz run so that i got a good countanance to see his parents! okok.. time drawing so near.. its 1020am.... i left my place and reached his place at ard 1045... wow.. NERVOUS! msged him... and he came down to bring me up...... very scared.. but darling said i looked very nice in the dress.. =) he said " ELEGANT".. wow! okok.. then we went up to his place.. very scare i got to say.... met darling's mum... awe.. she looks so qing xiu.. and she spoke to me in english.. wow! a very different mum from mine... not auntish.. fashionable... very soft and gentle... we chatted.. abt freddy.. the past him who is very chubby... and now slim.. really SLIM down a lot! muz be me who mistreated you.... or izzit too bless to be with me, so need to stay healthy for me.. okok.. then we saw some photos of his family... wow! very loving a family i muz say... after a while, his dad woke up! the relaxed me got a little tense...wished his dad happy new year and gave him oranges... guess what?his dad gave me ang pao!!!!!!!!!!!!! shockedme!?!!! coz his mum gave me le.... thats so generous of him! i dunno how to receieved... but ya accepted.. so pai sei.... (0"o) ya.. his dad is so humorous! asked me whether i took an aeroplane here.... oh mine.. okok.. thats funny.. we ate lots of cny goodies.. and chatted.. think it went quite smoothly.. then his dad fetched us to lavender to get darling's stuff... then we parted and bid goodbye to his parents... ao funny! but darling was happy! he said can sense that his parents are happy with me...phew...... cooled down a little...coz its like everything's over... was happy coz darling said parents are receptive and welcoming.. happy with me... =) very very very happy that it went smoothly...
then we went to SUNTEC to jalan jalan.... supposingly to shop for my vday gift.. but ya.. didn't fancy much.. so we end up not buying anything... haah. on the way, mu dear kept saying my dress looks extremely nice1 or izzit i kept asking.. ahhaa.. but ya.. very happy! we went to eat delifrance! deliCIOUS! i think.. dear was so sweet,.. think he sacrifice his desires for other food for me.. haha.. next time married how? think he might get bullied by me... awe. i wun.. i love you.. hahaa.. and he said he is FORTUNATE that he can carry bag for me.. aren't i a lucky girl? then we went to my place... and ya.. mandrine oranges.. very very funny... we received ang paos from my neighbour.. how nice of her... then we went to my place.. gave oranges.... sat aorund.. saw vdays gift.. dear daid my room wasn't nice with the new arrangements.. ooooo... alright.. i will see if i can change again... hmm... then my dear chatted with my mum... saw hamsters and goldfish.. darling, i seriously think hamsters are cuter than goldfish... =P
my darling got to go.. we set off.. here comes the sad part..iwa too headstrong, wanted to see him home.. but ya..family time is impt to.. so dearie asked me not oo.. was upset, juz thinking he is gg in tmr, maybe we shld spend more time together.? but ya.. muz maintain a balance.. so ya.. think i shld think deeper and not not juz kept numb..knew darling somehow know i was unhappy.. think i am so petty...didn't talk to him.. bid goodbye.. cried.. he called... was sad that i didn't say athing and he left.. and that i wun see him for the next few days... regretted.. wanted to go find him, coz he didn't board 98.. saw 333 coming... but God'd plan wasn't so.. darling board 187 and left le... so i sat the same 333 back home.. think i am so so petty and think my quietnesss muz have left my darling feeling halpless.. i am so sorry... i will try to speak up the next time... hate this characteristic of me.. ya.. everything solved after a few calls and sms.. think darling, i will correct myslf ya.. ya.. here i am blogging.. telling you how i felt juz now.. thinki am having pms.. so dun bother abt me ya.. i love you dear.. shldn't have done that, coz you are gg into army.. shldn't made you felt so insecure.. i am sorry... i love you darling....

ITS OUR 15TH MONTH ANNVERSARY! and new year's eve.... and most imptly, HE IS COMING BACK!

today is so eventful! its time to celebrate out 15th month anni! and its time to eat reunion dinner coz its new year's eve... and yup1 most imptly, i am gg to see him later.. haha.. very excited! dun know what to wear now.. haha.. juz dropping by to say i love my dear very much.. =)
to be continued...

=) =) =) =) =) =) he called (= (= (= (= (= (= (

my darling called!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on wed! very happy!!!!!!!!!!! this 7 days make me realize how much i can't leave him without him............ kept thinking of him... tears juz flowed when i heard his voice... didn't anticipate that he will call me on wed!!!!! very very very exhilrated! very very very touched......... =) =) =) =) now i know the power of phonecall! i miss him........................... i am gg to cherish even more every call he made..... he told me field camp was horrible..got abrasions and bites.... so poor thing..... i hope my dear is alright....... i can't do much.. ok.. i shall go find abrasions cream k and apply for you? hope by then you won't need the cream anymore.... went out with the 6 bros at westmall....... had sakae sushi... taste blend and not delicious to me.. guesss i was sick.........didn't finish the udon... all the while, there was my darling'g msg....... felt so fortunate to keep msging him..... (",) and we ended the day with his "i love you".. what a word... it seems that i have never said that for so long..... i juz wanna scream into his ear: I LOVE YOU!"... that day couldn't really zz... smiling from ear to ear.. telling my bro how happy i am.... i can't imagine its only 7 days and i miss him so much.... think i have fallen deeply in love with him...... how ar? then he got to marry me lo......... hahahahazz.... kk.. gtg le...g to be late to meet yu zhen for shopping........ i love my darling!!! 1 day left to him booking out!!!! =)

i am sick.................................

yesterday i was sick.. so sick................ vomited at 1am.......... all my nasi lemak............ then vomited again at 8am..................... all the chicken broth......... argh........ felt so horrible.......... alll the while, there wasn't any stomachahe but diarrohea..... aiyo......... so sick............. having a fever too....... 37.8... using oral digi thermom..... felt so horrible that i counldn't zz...... wake and go, wake and go.. but my younger bro was quite sweet.. whatever i ask him to help, he helped... hahah.. its times like this that i see the sweetness in him.. =) felt so bad........... next morning quickly went to see doc... alone... msg my darling but know he can't see... coz he is in field camp.. though darling wasn't by my side physically, but i know he will if he can...... he's by my side mentally... wonder how is he now? msg him a few times yesterday... really miss him very much.......... ya...after doc... was afraid will vomit again..so only ate half a bowl of porridge for the whole day.. so pathetic... but ya.. the rest of the time was zzing... so didn't felt hungry at all... kept thinking of darling. hoping somehow he can call.. but i know its impossible. 1 day more!!!!!!!!!!! and my darling can call le..... pls darling, i pray that nothing happen to you... so ya.. i am waiting patiently.... and dun worry..... i am fine le... can cook and gg out tonight with the 6 bro... 1 day and counting...... =)

its monday le!

hahah.. darling's back very soon... wokle up at 10 plus today.. can't zz on le... yesterday ewas my last day of work.... quite boring....... but met a very adorable baby girl... hahah.. she was lying on her pramp.. staring at me with her innocent pair of eyes..so i gave her a handbook......... she was grinning from eyes to eyes... awe... so sweet........... then she return me.. i wonder why too.. then as her mum was pushing her off.. she was reluctant to go... haha.. coz she wanted my drink.. so i offered her.. she drank and gave me the "eeks" look.. coz my drink its bitter.. hahah.. but can see she's still so happy to drink it.. =) so cute! then when she go off, she waved gdbye to me.. so sweet.. and gave me a flying kiss....... awe... i love the baby... darling, next time we muz have baby girl k? =) ya.. was slacking during work.. and got a little tick off by annie aunti.. so ok.. i go work harder lo... haha. vivien came! surprise!!!!!!!! so happy! then i chatted with her for an hour... then at abt 7, we started to work togetehr.. somehow like free labour for her.. with our joint action, we sold 11 bottles in 45 mins! wow! think two are better than one... haha.. then i bought her a drink.. very good k1 mango smoothies... then we went to shop for a while.. bought my new year's shoes for 9.90.. cheap ar? quite nice... looking st the watch, i decided to send her home.. haha. its a;ways enjoyable to spend timw with vivien! thats why we are best friends! she is juz so nice.. =) she waited for my bus.. then we bid goodbye... such a nice day... went home.. sew my darling;s gift....think it looks fabulous! hope he loved it.. yup!.. thats was yesterday.. today think i am gg to do housework le......clear my room.. darling, i reall miss you.. but i will keep my life occupied.. and i am taking gd care of myself... hope you are fine too....... i miss you............ 3days and counting......

our tues before his NS..... 

flowers by him... 

3days have passed..... i miss you.......

today today today....... i went to work as usual...... so boring.... but yup! last day to dine with my eating partner... ann.. quite sadz ar.. she is such a nice aunti... ya.. received my invitation card! hahah.. so exciting! 18th march... first time..... saw odac juniors.. haha.. " forced" them to buy one bottle.. and they bought... hahahah...yaa... ate chicken chop today! super delicious! darling, see.. i am taking good care of myself... hehehzz... here goes my diet plan... ya.. met miss tay siyi... stand there talking for nearly 20 minutes..very nice talk! though rappy and lame.... hehehz.. eat snake ar... =) met dave too... hahah.. think he too soft hearted le..only asked and he bought... all goes to my darling's good relations with him... hahaha.. guess wht? the pharmacist lady bought me a cup of mango smoothies... so delicious! oh mine! darling, i shall buY for you the next time... so sweet of her too.. she invited me to her wedding and bpught me drink.. hahah.. =) then took photos with the staff there.. they have been so good to me.. bought choco for them.. hope they like it? ya.. then went back.. shop around at IMM.. check out prices of paint and stuff.. gg to do a make over for my room soon.. and dear, i am gg to change room le... i miss you.. okok.. i asssure you will be the first to see my " new room " k? love you... 4 days and counting....

grad night 2004 

i miss you the second day....

darling... i went running today! haha.. 2.664km k! so fit now! i've decided to stick on to my slimming program... jog every 2 days.. eat one full meal a day. but can have many tea breaks.. this is one of my "be a lady" plan's highlight...ya... gg shop for more earings and perfume..and more skirts cum dress.. darling, are you a wee bit happier? coz i'm finally gg to be a lady.... ya..
went to work... and guess what? i sold the least yesterday.. only 15 bottles.. =(... but nvm.. quitting in 2days time.. then guess what? darling, i am gg to receive a invitation letter for my workplace's pharmacist wedding?wow! never been to weddin dinner for friends! so exciting! when's ours darling? ????? hehezz..ya... msg you when i reach home to tel you i miss you very much.. finally understand the impt of hearing your voice every night.. it helps to put me to zz..... without chatting tto you, ita hard to zz.. hehez.. i miss you,.. pray that you are fine always... coz god will protect everyone.. especially you... i miss you.. 5 days and counting...

darling first day in field camp.... i miss you...

darling... wow! didn't receive your msg for the whole day... feels so weird... i miss you... guess this means i can't live without you.. hehezz.. awe.. =) today wake up early and there's rice.. haha.. mum'f off day.. guess what1 darling, i got fried rice for lunch.. hehez.. ya.. then went off for work.. today sold 30 bottles! wow! heehz.. got a regular big sized man bought 8 bottles! hehz.. if darling, see this, he muz be happy for me ritez? =P ya.. saw a few ple with hairstyle that looks like my darling.. kept thinking of him... when i felt vibrations, thought it might be you.. ah... but not.. nvm! juz hope my darling will be safe k! miss you................................ haha.. oko.. today saw a old chc friend.. davis.. ya.. exchanged phone nos. he requests, not me dear.. dun worry... hahah.. he msg me, but i didn't reply... hehzz.. okok.. reach home safe and sound.. almost wanted to msg my darling, but realize he's in field camp.. hoping and praying he is taking gd care of himself.. i love you dear.. 6 days and counting.....


NOTE:
to all insects who may be reading this,
dun bite my darling.. i treat you sweets.. yup!
thank you!

yup..im gg in le..see u in 14 daes dardar..meanwhile..juz a note..
"i love u"

yup..im no longer a cv..im a soilder..protectin singapore..learnin how to kill..ns lifecan be scripted in juz 1 word 'tired'..bad things..i begin to use vulgirities in camp..i'll change i promise..good things..i see a lot of things that non ns men will not see..its true.in ns u realli mature..u become a men..turned myself into a cold serious monster again..ther r fun times but they dun last..n time is the most precious gift of god..no..life..maybe when u r stuck in an island of training for 14 daes..u might understand..n yup im gg in for another 14 tomorowe..ther be field camp..no time no communication from dust to dawn..playin in the jungle..7 long long daes..all rite im in bravo coy..platoon 1 sec 2 bed 7..find me if u can..but i noe no-one can..in the army..u get tekang for weird reasons..maybe thats why someone lost his mind..maybe..
my coy got 2oo peeps i think i noe oni abt 80..my platoon has 50..we r close..my section 13..we r like real close..haha..lotz of memories on my 1st book out..cant forget bulu..super blur king..but one whom i utterly respect..coz he said this in a lecture in front of 200 men...i love my dad..hes my hero..it takes courage to sae this..n for that..i salute him..
trainin is tough but as a frend told me..tough trainin doesn't last, tough men does..everydae in camp i see sun rise i see sun set..glorious sight..wake at 4-5 sleep at 10-11...absolute no life..military trainin..but as i told her..i love the military worklife..but being a recuit..an nsf is totally diff..its duty..very tirin everydae..pillow's my best frend now..n yup i learnt to stand n sleep..try15hrs of trainin n 6-7 hrs of zzzz..try for 14 daes..even the most optimistic man would frown...
think im doin fine in my platton...noe most of the peeps..thru my hurry ups n knock it down..haha for the fun guyz...my section is damn funni peeps..by the motto 1st to eat 1st to book out last to fall in..we r the sabotagers..but trust us..we were always on the dot..
came out for some airforce stuff..ate charsiew rice its 2 bucks..but to me it was as though i have nvr eaten such stuff before..then got fried rice..on the 2nd small book out..the taste was great.. trust me all singaporeans..these r food that we find normal or take for granted..but these r the best food in my life..ns food is gd..rice 3 meat 1 veg 1 soup 1 fruit/jelly n 1 water..but its mass..its for many many people..it taste the same everydae...
im now gg treasure life even more..sinece time is not on my side..i look at those peeps studyin..pri..sec..poly..jc..i realli sincerly miss those daes..its when u lose someting..u begin to treasure..i lost the mainland feeling..seein hdb feels weird..seein cbd feels weird..seein people feels weird..seein my love ones feel weird..seein my room feels weird..seein her feels weird..
im beginnin to mature i guess..beginnin to understand god's most precious gift..life.
see all in another 16 daes time..mum,dad,sis...words cant sae how much i love u..dear..i promise to stay by ur side..juz like u have..in the most diff of times..
God bless all n take care..
".....when u only got a hundred years to live...."

darkling.. 5 more days.. juz now yes was a little saddened by your call.. was thinking why you dun wanna play truant.. but yup! you are right... how can play truant.. what if you get caught or something.. i should have been more sensible and not so selfish.. miss you... was juz thinking.. today uis w\quite a tiring day.. nice in the sense xia is there.. got a good friend to talk to.. very haappy! not so bored.. somehow can find her and chat... won't miss darling so much.. ya.. heard that darling uses vulgar language in camp.. a twitch of saddness engulfed me... thought he won't use... but ya.. he said its different in camp and outside.. maybe i am juz too fussy or narrow.. jzu wonder why he wants to use? think i should open up a bit more.. nothing wrong ritez? ya... darling soming out in a few days time.. haven finish my sewing.. think i gtg hurry le! yup! days pass and go quickly.. i won't have to miss him so much le.. i love you darling.. life is so listless without you.. 5days and counting...........

i miss yoou........

its been 5 days le... wow1 i miss my darling.. today is my off day, sitting here alone. going to do housework soon... house is so messy! how i wish he is here to help me.. hahah.. like the last time.. =) life withoout him now seems weird somehow... only can chat for a while.. but i know he has tried his best to lengthen to the max le.. =) love you baby... sill got to save batt.. and yup! he needs the zz.. been approving all his testimonies.. wondering whetehr he will be shocked? haha.. he juz secretly MSG!!!! woo........ so happy! =) =) =) he will be out on friday.. friday.. 21st.. another 10 days! so yes! he said he is getting fat, but darling, fat fat i dun mind... coz think i am fatter than you now! haha... as long as we are healthy.. a little fat is acceptable ya! nicer to huggy! =) coz its unhealthy when you get extremely fat... i gtg do houseork le.. then maybe cook lunch.. awe.. such a wifely dear ritez? haha.. 10 days and counting.......

my dearest darling.... i miss you... really do... i've promised to be yours le.. so yup! i will wait patiently for you.. and yes! you muz spend time with me whenever you come out k! be it juz 1,2,3 or many hours.. we muz meet! unless you dun miss me... hope you are zzing soundly now... i love you! you've added so much colours into my life! so much sweetness, so much joy, so much love, so much hope, so much so much... army is going to be tough.. i promise i will be understanding.. if you really can't spend time with me, i will wait ya.. and not nag.. coz i know you muz have tried your best to make time.. i promise to wait, so i will. and now that i felt so so belong to you.. our love muz have grown.. when things are tough, muz think of us k! and i am sure the tough will get going.. =) i miss you.. sitting here, knowing that your phone is off, cannot reach to you in any ways, think except thru our hearts.. coz its linked. i miss you... its 13 days and counting down..

dear..once more..i love u..bye

a special meal
wow dear..think what happened yesterdae will be in our minds for the rest of our lives..i promise u i will love u forever..i honestly will..but dear..u muz promise me to take care so that u can be mine when im back..n yes..i will be back..still remember"i feel so belonged to u"..dear..since our path have crossed..i prayed that u will be..me n my only wife..i love u..its not gd bye..dun cry..hush..take care.

waited all my life..

its official..3-4 more daes to nsf..2 yrs of ns life..dun realli noe what to xpect..currnetly restin n feelin nostalgic..lookin at my room..my books..my awards..touchin this n that..findin memories of the past..went to my sis room..dad n moms room..looks as though im takin my last look..wana go back to the past daes..it oni seem yesterdae that i mived into here..come to think abt it..its been 7-8 wonderful yrs..juz sat on the sofa n surveryed arnd..im not crazy but i juz wana relive some moments..mom was tellin me how i was naughty when small..yes im and still is..primary sch fun..sec sch muggin nerd..jc love n work..think i realli grew up..nsf..its not a job..its a duty...the feelin is very different..it realli feels like jail..juz heard westlife n boa..she doesn't look good..great song though..flyin without wings..think it spells out my life so much..lookin back i had my great moments..but i had down ones too..
guess my gal is workin hard now..realli cant bear to see her work so hard..but in s'pore..u have to work to survive..army callin me.. edgin closer to 2 yrs of DUTY.i noe i will be happi..sad..angry..learning..but its all part of a DUTY..n trust me its worst than sch..i wana mug..well saw kids gg sch..pri..sec..jc..unbeilivable..im seatin here..typin away.. s'pore is so peaceful on a norm workin cum schoolin dae..its beautiful.. 4 daes of rain n finalli SUN is out. thank god..dear..i love u.

wat a rainy dae

dear.its 3 jan 2005..i cant help but look at the wall coz thers a clock n time is tickin away..trust me i dun lke this kinda livin..coz i noe i be in ther for 2 yrs..if its a job..i dun mind..but dear..its more of discipline..more of a muz..miss u my baby..i love u..
wat a dae..so so so so so cold..my legs went wobbly n body shook..haha..those who noe me noe i cant tahan too much coldness..work at 730..very tired coz zz at abt 2 the nite be4..zhou msg..had to go..yeah quickly did my stuff..pack n left for bk batok..its adult fare le..happi for an instant.. but realise how costly public transport is..whole dae i spent 3.5dollars..yeah..saw our opponents..
they look strong haha..very big built..some nj some hcj..some dunno wher..we realli look puny..
haha..the rain was so heavy its crazy to play..crazy yes..im feelin a little stupid at how desperate we are..haha..then the jokes came.did u wear swimmin trunks..take team photo..play arcade izzit?lim kopi..haha we finalli got 13 players..n we found a fiel oni to see it being covered for prayers..oh no..had to walk for 15 more mins in heavy RAIN to reach a sch field..quite nice sch.. but very small field..
everyone got psyched up startin et,mw,hq,me,jf,dv,wj,yz,rz,jh,kt..very even start..but they were tactically n techinall very very sound..on a wet dae they play flank-crossin we play short pass..haha..quite funni..soon battle begin..dave n this nj9..haha e mr vulgairty exchange clash..then i slid in hard on him..yeah wanted to let them noe a "hard" presence..soon they drew blood..ball over my head..goal..we started to push..yeah..whole match was full of vulgarities.. nj9 was so lame..callin fouls here n ther..i hate gays..i hate him..yeah think whole game i give myself a 6/10..the field was uper soggy..not a field but a pool..can be blamed for 2 goals..but saved some grace with ball winnin tackles n counterattacks..went pass 5 players 2x and 6 players 1x..but passin off..ball stuck to waterlog pitch..i sincerly tried..so did my mates..we lost 6-2..they outclass us.i didnt feel gd..but as i said before the game "the score doesn't matter..its the way we played".n yup..my mates tried..thats the most impt...
enough of soccer..oh no..my dear!dear..i will never do that again k?i noe how it feels im sorry..gottoo run in rain again..got milk tea for her n left for boon lay..miss u so much juz wanted to see u for a while..then brought lunch n went h..ate n zz..so so so cold..
went out with fam at nite..lookin ahead..im gg miss them too..i realli do..n dear..i think u fully noe how much im missin u...love u.
may god protect u.

MY ns BOY....  

i'll wait for you......

darling i will wait for you always, pease have faith in us!
time is not running out, coz i know we will make time for each other..
and our LOVE will stay strong... remember i say i want to be mrs liew..
and i won't take care of myself if we aren't together......
but i will take care of myself when you are in NS.. juz like you do...
i love you always!
dun over exert yourself in NS k! i'll be hurt..
dun forget to take your meals k! i'll be hurt....
dun forget to always keep me in msg, i'll worry...
dun forget to focus during NS.. i'll worry..
dun forget to take good care, i'll worry...
dun forget that you are supposed to marry me, i'll wait for you.
i love you.

dar dar...yeah..im here again..had a beautiful dae...juz cant forget e way we walk down orchard.. yeah think e rowdy crowds muz have scared u..awe..didnt realise it would be that rowdy..woke up this morn..to wake u up..haha..1st jan endin soon..have a kind of sinkin feeling..time is runnin faster than me..wait for me..i love u..n dear..remember what i said last nite k..
6daes

hi dear..yeah it was a fabulous prom nite..dear..it doesn't matter wher we r..it oni matters that im with u...no doubt u looked "extra" beautiful yester..dolled up so nicely..hope u like the flowers..hope u had a great nite..
woke up this morn to realise i have 8 daes left..
more impt..to all..pls pray hard for the victims..havin fun is impt..but pls show some humanity..honour the dead..
short entry..bye

dear..think ther was some unhappiness last nite..hope u have gotten over it..juz hope to see u become a real lady thats all....
but im much much more sadden by tsunami..hear me rite..my heart realli pains when i see n hear more n more abt the tragedy..to those who have lost their loved ones...im sorry..i realli feel ur pain..n i sincerly hope they will rest in peace..realli hurts me a lot...broken family..lost love ones..i got a friend whose friend tellin me how sad his dad was workin in gleneagles..a family lost a dad a mom leavin a 3 yrs old kid..for another..a wife lost his hushband n all her children..it muz have hurt..lets forget abt economics..coz money cant buy life..n life is the most precious gift of god..
had been watchin cnn cna bbc till late these daes..2am?3am?..n it hurts more n more..im sorry i cant put myself to smile these daes..think u be seein the less funny side of me..i cant help it..im saddened by the loss..3000 death to 20000 death to 50000 death n presently its 80000...
god oh god..pls have mercy on these people..most of them dun even have enough of food on normal daes...this incident realli makes me doubt the presence of god..any religion..the torment and sufferin on these people are unbearable..its a scar that cant be hidden..
if im god..i would rather i endure all sufferings..so that mankind prevails..if im god..i would rather tsunami hurt me...then to destroy the people's life...
rapid baurial..stenchin bodies..rottin decease..flies on wounds..bloatin body that pupurled due to lack of oxygen..i realli feel a lot..n for those that have seen this blog..heres something i read off a christian book...
if everybody on earth is to pray for something..the something will always come true.
pls pray that the victims souls rest in peace and that more survivors can be found.
Peace.

Christmas eve and day 2425122004..a dae i will never forget

wow..dear..love is so awesome..n im crazin over u..lovin u bits n peices..loving u so much..
simply..love u..
wat an eve...come to think abt it..its oni our 2nd eve..but tis dae was meant to be special..santa gave me my wish..n im so thankful..i feel like crying..realli do..but no..i wun..i must hold on..wat a dae..its gg 3 am..baby...i still wana tell u i love u so so much..i cant stop smiling..pls..pls..let me take care of u..for life..i realli mean it..wat the sun means to the earth..is wat u mean to me..i cant lose u..i sincerly cant..
heres the eve..me been shoppin so many daes for my dear's gift n i reall spend a lot of time n effort..tryin to get some special stuff..bear..skirt..shirt..silvery..xceries..hamsters..bags..shoes.. i went orchard..jp..cck..bpp..tbp..ps..thers juz so much gifts..so it became a headache.(dear..im fine now.)
so woke up tis morn..woke up early..n set off at 1240..shld have enough time rite?wrong..haha..drop 1 stop more..cant squeeze out..quite unbelievable rite? so walk all the way to ps wher thers more bears..more skirts..more etc..unbelievable..kids shld be so thankful..lifes so gd for them..went heeren..clock ticked..dear called..im like.."i call u when im done k..wait ok?" n msg "dear, 5 more minutes ok?"heart in the mouth..
Ayha!Giodarno..ok i noe its lame..its plain..its so unfestive..so normal..but that was e oni thing sticky to my mind..dear..i still think im so bad..yah..got 2 shirt..one sphet..one v.."s" size..ok a bit short..but can change rite?haha got mistaken as an ABC..think im gg drop my buisness conversation accent..im a singaporean..happily..no..worriely hush out n got to heeren..was walkin n lookin at the floor thinkin"wat have i done here..oh my..im so useless..its so plain..get a card?wher?got time?oh no.."worried...absoluetly...
finalli meet up with dear...unbelievable..coz the dress looks fabulous on her(dear..it does..do note that its not the other way round i.e.she looks gd in dress)it realli does..yup..lady..famine(hunger?ok i spell wrongly)..elegant..one word:beautiful..oh my..lookin at myself..im startin to get worried..but think im alrite rite?walked to 4 way junc...theneh..take picture!haha..so happi..coz..ok..coz..very happi..haha..yup..went up to heeren..annex isssit?haha..changed bills to coins..but the process was difficult..i got lost inside(dear,no laughin..think peeps who noe me well noe that im quite lost.)finalli took pics..wow..dear looked gorgeous..realli..then had to add design n pattern..haha..quite suprised that 2 science students can do so well..haha..got it laminated..
on the way down..
came to my realisation teenagers are so bold,daring,free,so un orderly..hmm..juz felt that from way people dresss..culture shock?yes..im no orchardbug..im libraryworm..n then got to the telephatic spot.."start with T ritez?"haha.."yah"..wow..think i can feel for my dear..yupz boaty at tiong bahru..very squeezy in train..as always..no seats..saw 1 jjcian..forgot her name..im sorry i realli have bad bad memory..
yeah reach tbp..n got our normal boaty..think the ambience is gd..window seats..hot food..cozy tables..yah n gd food..had our usual meat n veg boaty..awe..think my dear is so so hungry..tucked in le..haha..hotdog..veg..balls..meat..fish..rice wow..gd gd food..so full..but my dear is noT!awe dardar..nxt time let me noe okie?muz feed u till u full my precious..took train now to kallang..had some sweet moments wrappin my dear in my arms..so so comfy..so loving..so love..so loved..train to kallang was fast..."reached le?"i was shocked...
haha..reach kallang..tryin to find heaven n earth(haha for peeps out ther..no puns here..merely a drink)dear..i think cheers have..next time i muz get it for u ok?waited a while..for bus..everybody so dressed for church..think my dear got tired..rested onto me a while..not forgetin those "droppin incident" which i shell not discuss..awe dear..im ther k?n im not generous so i'll help u..board bus...reach indoor stadium...
dear was so anxious..think she wanted a rest badly..awe..im sorry baby..couldnt help u much..but got our way into the stadia..oh my..thers so many peeps..can u imagine the whole indoor stadium is full..as CHC puts it "capacity crowd" had a hard time locatin our seats..haha dear got so anxious..she asked this poor chap..whers this then listen to phone without his reply..then ask again..got some reply..but listen to phone more..then walked off..poor chap..yah no nxt time k?dear..ther r helpers..muz be more respectful k?haha..aniway i noe u r nvr disrespectful..juz got anxious at the moment..but dear..they tried to help..got our seats..wow.. the performance was spectecular..okie thers loads of songs..skit..prayers..but i think i shall sae in catagories...
thers a lot of hope..u look at all the peeps around..u noe religion evolves arnd their life..n in him..they find hope..a desire to be a useful being..a gd being..how do i noe..i looked at kid..elderly n teenager..thers so much unfufilled dreams that they believe he has set out for them..
thers a lot of joy...this church to me is so joyous..so happi..so joyous...people were singingg...with a smile..its unbeievable(its 340 so spelling detoriatin)..everybody is so at home so in tune..so family..its sucha joy.."silent nite..holy nite.."feels so so gd..
thers a lot of entertainment..which i strongly detest coz i dun think wanted peeps to break their bones for that..n a very dramatic skit..okie..thats seriously wat i dun like..thats entertainment..i noe its christmas..but i would like to sae: we celebrate this dae for he was born to salvage mankind..not for entertainment..maybe more love for god..CHC..food for thought....
thers lotz of manipulation..the pestor is the best salesperson..if u realise he lead his congregtion thru a series of questuons..answers..self comforts..relation to all men..n high regard to him..dear this is actualli a way of manipulation..ask any phycologist..this guy is powerful..he controls people's mind..thats scary..im not one of them luckily..
but overall its a lively church no doubt..think im more in for quiet hymns..prayers..songs..dear..
u dun have to be loud to get to him..u have to be sincere..feel it..sing it..not the other way..no offences CHC but honestly..how many peeps pray n dun feel for him..im worried..i looked around..peeps were playin hp games or msgs..not a gd sign at all...but yup..gtg n left at 9+
SO COLD..haha..hug u tight in the bus..n lay a kiss on ur face..dear..hopefulli it somehows warm ur heart...took train back..dear was famish yet tired..poor thing..but can smell cake le..so decided to hang on..found seats..n she juz wrap across me n rested..awe..thats so nice a feelin...realli..me tried to sing..hymn..but juz fail to let u zz dear..awe..had a lovin time..n reached je le..woke up n board 333..haha..dear wante to open her gift..so naughty..so love u...haha..on 333 okie?(dear i cant make it le..its gg 4..will finish it soon ok?muack!)
n im back its 5 now haha..5pm..christmas dae..still tired..(for those who think i logged for 13hrs no i woke at 10 n got to go somewher)...yah..so we went up n my dear opened her present..heartbeat so fast..yet so scared to dissapoint..very worried..but my dear saw it n she was happi..awe..dear..thks for loving my norm xmas gift..next yr be better k..but my dear kept liking it..think she was so happy.."thats what i wanted".."thats e color"..felt so gd when u r happi dear..well..got quite a few kisses..awe so sweet..love ur lips to bits le..saw dead was so happi..so xingfu..awe..a few more kisses..awe so much vive and love..dear..i treasure ur love..realli do..
Accompanied dardar home..yup its aunties birthdae..haha..i was pretty nervous realli..but i noe if i went my dear would be so so happy..n she was..hugged me and told me dun worry...phew.. got into her hm..greeted auntie..bro..gave the pressies..cut cake n eat cake..think her mom was happy..i mean she welcomed me so much..but yah think she got quite serious after the "sweepin and moppin" incident..over-sensitive?definately not..think can feel shes a little angry..realli dear..trust my instincts k?n wasnt happy with dear coz i accidentally saw what i didnt want to see..oh my..yah..quite disapointed the way dear behaved at hm..i mean..dear's 19..n as a lady..obviously i hope she tries to be more protective and sensitive over some stuff..dear.. treasure urself okie?left her place soon...
Got near bustop..gotto say i didnt wana sae gd bye..was hoppin dear asked me to stay..think not her..was pacin..dug my pockets..look back..look up..no shadows again..think i realli showed my displeasure or nuisance..but i juz wanted to let her noe..some impt things muz(not shld) be done in some ways..kinda disspointed that as a bf...coz juz thought all girls noe its not to rite to be less careful in some issues..(for those who dun understand..dun think dirty pls..although contents sound explicit)
Think i went hm...and open pressie..love it dear..muackz!belt(need to slim)...wallet(need to fatten)haha..but i treasure them dear..co its from u..ask bag if need clarification...awe so sweet..decided to call dear to prevent unhappiness over e issues or nonsense i started..think she was fine..realli?...went hm..nobody..gosh shouldnt have left..maybe she shld not let me leave..
think my parents n sis were party animals(former reach hm 13o..latter reach hm 230)..at 1145 i was early..so sad..miss u so much..n called dear..think i made her tear in the conversation..
"why didnt u stop me"..how selfish can i be..but all guys wana feel loved at times like that..
nonsense?yes.love?yes.why cant i stop her..dear..think its easier for u to sae somehow..but maybe not u..couldnt remember guys stopin girls oni remember the other way round..Chauvinistic?pride?egoistic?yes but i guess somehow all guys are a little at times..baby pardon me for the nonsense k..actualli..u dun have to live with them..but love prevailed...i was juz wishin if thers god..pls allow santa to grant me a wish..i wana see her..n guess..guess..guess..
My god..shes here..she lied to me..n it was 1230..so late..dear.im shocked..im touched..n yes there was some tears..i had to withstand it..cant cry..she was tearin..i hug her so tight nit seemed forever..we then went to sit..(i pinched myself okie?)..ther was my love..awe..i try to hush her up..awe..we realli kissed n made up..it was a long deep one..think 2X..so much love n emotions..feelings...affection..awe...held her tight..wana let her noe i love her so much..she hide in my arms..she said she loved it.."can i rest forever".."yeah if u let me marry u".."shoulders so cusiohin..feel so gd"..in my head..i was praying..dear..i swear i will love n cherish u..n one dae i muz marry u..im urs..sounds mawkish..but love is so sweet..so affectionate..awe..think my dear loved me so much..she rested for a while..but i swear she will be the oni woman to rest there..oni woman..no others(not even mom)..hugged her tight and told her we had to bid goodbye..gave her one last kiss..muack..n saw her to the taxi back...
Wat a nite..to god..i oni have 1 wish..i sincerly want to marry my dear..love her and cherish her for the rest of her life..pls..pls..pls..grant me my wish..i swear i'll try my utmost to protect and respect her..never to ill treat her..coz this is the least she deserve----my love.

all my bags are packed

haha...dar dar..all my bags r packed...okie..yah this song keeps hummin in my mind..im leavin real soon..yah gg miss u lotz..thats why i wish u had worked less these daes..but yupz..some things cant be help n i muz juz try to understand..miss u..oh my..dear..im sory for being harsh..accept my apologies but i wish for more time with u...dumb?absolutely me.

How do I,Get through one night without you?If I had to live without you,What kind of life would that be?Oh, I need....I need you in my arms, need you to hold,You're my world, my heart, my soul,If you ever leave,Baby you would take away everything good in my life,And tell me nowHow do I live without you?I want to know,How do I breathe without you?If you ever go,How do I ever, ever survive?How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?Without you,There'd be no sun in my sky,There would be no love in my life,There'd be no world left for me.And I,Baby I don't know what I would do,I'd be lost if I lost you,If you ever leave,Baby you would take away everything good in my life,And tell me now,How do I live without you?I want to know,How do I breathe without you?If you ever go,How do I ever, ever survive?How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?Please tell me baby,How do I go on?If you ever leave,Baby you would take away everything,I need you with me,Baby don't you know that you're everything,Good in my life?And tell me now,How do I live without you,I want to know,How do I breathe without you?If you ever go,How do I ever, ever survive?How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?How do I live without you?How do I live without you baby?

phew

dear..yester was a real close call..i love u..dun leave me..thk god.

aRRGGGHHH!

todae is realli unbveielivable..feel so down so sad n yet no one comforted me..im realli tired..
cant believe she got angry when i said her hm is one of the messiest...can u believe this kid..who juz plainly wana help..got bitten in sucha way..maybe im an idiot..i cant believe it..she was Angry..for?for i love her so much n im willing to give in n give up so much for her..im realli saddened..told her i love her so many times..n yet she was angry..oh my...i had a real bad nite..thinkin n thinkin..im tired..try zzz 3 odd hrs..its bad enough and yet i wonder how can she zz as though nothin happen..i need some comfortin..im oni human..i need love..i look up at the sky firin so much questions..why wun u comfort me..why muz i tell u then u will comfort me..why muz i always break silence..why muz u hug ur bag..do u even realise that huggin ur bag indirectly tells me my non-exsistance..why wun u sae something..why wun u cry..why wun u hug me..am i realli tha bad..i cant stand it..n worst if u read this im so scared u will ask me to break up..why wun u juz love me more..do u see e pain in my eyes..e agony of lovin someone so much yet recievin so little..have u ever seen a big man tear..why..why wun u show a wee bit more love..more concern..n comfort..cant believe i have to look up e sky for those..do u even noe e way i feel..how much i tried to give in..its becoz i love u..n u got angry over such an issue.. u turned cold last nite..absolutly..im so saddedned after showerin u with all my heart..i swear ii'll cherish u n this is e best i can do..i dunno wat i did wrong..but when will u juz look at me tell me "dear im sorry" izzit my fault..i beg to differ...i feel like i lost u..i need someone who shower me with love too..someone that noe im sad n is willing to cheer me up..am i askin too much?how i wish u didnt went work n juz ask me to go beach with u..u didnt..n that didnt cross ur mind.. so who will love me? i look up then my head turned down..i look back ther was no one..not even ur shadow..think u prefer feel n silence..i lost my feel...i dun wana break silence..i dun wan keep comfortin..i wana be comforted..n dun sae fen shou..coz if u love me..u will noe its gonna tear my heart even more..i wonder whether u remember every little thing i do..or maybe if im gone..u will come to cherish n love me more..dunno whether u realise thers this kid out ther always thinkin of all means to cheer u up..think u will sae u noe..n u might sae i dun need to..but why not u try to make this kid noe that all hes doin is worth it..i sound so sick..askin for love..im so ashame of myself..im so digusted with myself..im so..useless.

my fav tee! 

hAPPY 13 month anniversary! doesn't my dear looks smart??
its been 13months since we got together! haha... and this is my day off! we met up at 230 at jurong east mrt station.. and set off... to JUNCTION EIGHT! never been there... so yup! dear brought me there to shop! ya... saw a beautiful shaft... but mum dun allow me to buy.. say waste of money.. got scolded then.. but ya.. dear was there... so yup. at least i dun feel so bad.. he kept trying to cheer me up.. love you! then we kept shoppping.. and shopping.. wow! junction 8 is big! haha... saw some kids using styrofoam to make snow on top... hahaha.. and there were kids below trying to keep the "snow".. so cute! ya..we kept shoping for heels! my dear became my personal "nanny'.. keep helping me to wear shoes... awe.. so sweet.. =) then we went to eat kaya toast.. DELICIOUS! wonder how they toast the bread! so crispy butter juz melts in your mouth... kaya wa good too! yakun breakfast? next time muz eat again! then we set off to esplanade for some peace... went to eat thai express.. got to say yakun was nicer.. hahaz.. but i love every dinner with darling... tried soft shell crab.. interesting.. coz we ate the shell... haven gotten diarrhoea yet.. and yes! darling, tian hua you hao ma ma? hahaa... then we scroll by the river and watch the night view of singapore... quite beautiful.. never really see such sight in singapore yet... =) especially with your love one beside you, everything juz seems so romantic and peaceful.. haha.. ya.. no kissing right darling? got rejected 4 times, but accepted6 or 7 times? so ya.. cannot complain k! ya.. then we had some sharing of past.. felt much better after telling him.. cried but i have got his shoulder... so comfi.. awe... haha.. and ya i was shy.. for some time. so have to hide in your arms.. oko.. sno laughing dear.. really shy.. you should know why.. *winks* had a good 13th month celebration.. miss you now dear........

lazy

haha..dar dar..where shld i start..erm east coast? bukit panjang? jtc?heart so filled with emotions think if i type everything..figer need screws le..haha so muz feel okieZ?haha..so tire ok lets backtract..todae went runnin..5k at least..after so much soccering.. yeah think my leg was achein..my back too..haha..everywher..lazy freddy..not much goals now..not much drive now..dun wana feel like tat..haha..had probs doin pull up n sit up..okie..no laughin..will improve..yah..think muz train up stamina..was runnin when all my lifestory skim past me..pri scch..sec sch..jc..ah..very standard..proud of sometimes i've done..shameful of the rest..yah
hmm..realise i miss books too..realli do..okie okuie..lets recount then..yester...went to find job..seriously..im not drivven by money..get me a job i like n im sure i will do my utmost to xcel..
went jtc..some tall building with dar dar..gosh so many peeps lookin..n they are oni 16 mostly..unbelievable..do their parents noe? i swas thinkin..n yah recuit express..recuit centre base on commision..dear..they needed u more than u needed them..think..its the truth..those peeps were as desperate as us..yah..my dar dar wore a beautiful skirt..n a long sleeveshirt..dear think u shld dress like that more..think u realli look gorgeous..haha christmas tree.. remembered when i was young..aunt's hm..christmas..awe..but osono snow..went on to look for my job...half hearted..but dear wanted me to see it thru..dar dar..i realli think ther r better jobs..i juz need one chance..giveme me job n i shall excel..i wana be succesful..n trust me promoter..waitress..skales wun make a gd cv actualli on long run..it ruins it..read frm papers..ah..got interview..the guy was starin at me..hard stare..n i looked him in the eye..until his eyes moved off mine..im confident as he is..realli n that shocked him coz after that he didnt wana see me.. i realli think peeps shld be daring to ask ven when applyin jobs..the other two jc gals..ar let them go ntu or nus..in this world u seriously need wits n comm skills..Think,Speak,Impress.. even if u made a fool..so wat?at least u r bold..guess im so different n i xpect alot.but thats part of evolution..okie..think im off haha..yah then went taka..wow so crowded..money realli spins.. hmm..thinkin how to be rich..haha..went to eat with dar dar..gd food..i gotto sae..saw jacq..think shes shoppin..rich?maybe..then left for hm..never forgetin the stare of love..n the hugs n kisses.. awe dar dar was so loving...muack!okie now is time for bk panjang plaza..haaha..dar dar was like so unhappi when she saw me..dampen my spirits..realise hp got probs..dear..next time pls dun panic or worry..calm down.think.seriously i cant tell her enough of this..yah but dar dar is till dar dar..i mean even if im distured..shes my oni dar dar..muz love muz cherish..so yup ate at bk panjang..food terrible..realli..i mean the rice..yah shop a while..n think saw dar dar frend..haha saw the revealin shirt..hope she love it..coz its hers alreadi..dar dar muz teng ai u see..hmm..went hm le..not forgtin to see her hm..okie now for east coast...haha hand pain le.. haha..bedok..incredible..east coast..muz feel..realli coz thers too much lovey dovey to pen catch up nxt time!

its a beautiful day............. wew ent to look for jobs together.. not that easy actually.. waited and stuff... yup.. met up at jurong east.. my dear was so early.. =) i wasn't late too...yup... so we went to maken! i was in my new skirt! and my dear said i look good!!!!! hehehzz..=) guess what!!! yup.. so sweet of my dear... he went to bukit panjang plaza early in the morning to get me the shirt i want!!!!!!! awe... how sweet... =) then we went for my interview and things went quite smoothly i gues.. afterwhich we went to bugis for his..... dear got to go for training! so yup! thats accepted i think! so now its up to whether the job is good oor not.. then we went to ngee ann city for my interview again.. but realized was the same company as jurong.. so yup didn't went in then.. hahaz.. tummy groaning! so went to eat at taka! wow! delicious! the seafood soup was so fresh and clear! delicious! and my dear help me peel prawn shell...awe... so sweet.. it was late.. and we had to go home for dinner... dear dear.. alright.. you are nicer to hug than doggie..(o"o) never went interview with darling before and i muz say he is the best companion! =)

sunset at east coast 

what a beautiful day....... =)

it was a day after our AS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!! so excited!!! can go out with darling without any worries abt time ............. wowz!!!!!!!!!! yup.... we met at jurong east... hahahzz.. this time my darling awas late.. hahahzz..
so rare!!!! oh mine! hahaz... dearie was late dearie was late.... hehezz...=) yup...having east coast in mind, we sat to Bedok mrt station... after having our lunch... the sky turned dark... and it rained! awe..... so ya.. can't go east coast at the moment... we went to cine and catch INCREDIBLES! quite nice i muz say... though not that funny.. but very loving... quite like the show.. was cold and dearie gave me warm... so sweett.... (o"o) yup.. hahaz..
and i got my ear rings!!!!!!! so nice!! then we set off to East coast...... thank God it didn't rain... and we reached there juz in time to catch the sunset.... how beautiful..... darling sat behind me all along... so i didn't get to see his face... hehehezz... ya.. it was so romantic... darling huging me... sittingby the quiet coast...watching sun setting... it was beautiful... felt so warm and loving...how i wish the moment lasted forever... ya.. treasured it very much... but very moments dun last... my mum called! she didn't have keys.. and i was suppose to go home... so sadz... but yup! we had our very moments... =) so yes.. we cherished it.. we left East coast and headed home.. but mum called again.. and yes.. my bro came home.. so ya.. i need not go home.. which means we can spent more time together! (",) we went to eat at BEdok.. food was good1 i had my ROJak! wow! and he had his rice! along with chee guey! delicious! =) then we headed home... hahaz..guess what? we met my dearie's friend on train.. and ya.. so chatted.. was tired... but ya.. got my darling's shoulder to lie on... was cushioning.... hahaz... he saw me home.. can't bear to part but got to.. exchanged our goodnight kisses... will never forget such beautiful moments.... love you.. yes. promoted my dearie... =)

lalalala..hmm..

yah thats been my mood these daes..happi exams gg over..happi?nah..oni if i was less complacent..thought i knew it all..thought i had the luck..guess e duck came..hmm..
anyway..duck is quite x these daes..was contemplatin whether to eat duck rice for 4 bucks at a hawker..logic came..chicky shld be fine at 2..haha..ok..xams endin..xmas commin..\now with a laptop..n a nice song..."theres no laughter in the air oni sadness in the air..since u been gone..without u where do i belong"..at times my heart aches..miss her..
so much..it cuts deep...actualli i realli out in 2yrs of effort..lookin back mayeb i shld have played more..no..its not in me to play hard..its in me to mug hard..holi work?wealth managemnt?revamp whole bedroom?novels?fitness?soccer...loads of post As stuff..will miss books..till we be friends again..2.5yrs..will u still remember u had such a loyal buddy.. will this "man" become a real "man"..things are fated..but never blame fate..saw this quote before:"dont blame ur cards..play them to ur best abilities"..true..life is juz like a pack of cards 52 diff ones..sometimes u get it sometimes u dun..saw a book..thinkin of borrowin it..intrestin..peace out.dear,l love u.

dear came n went..oh no...

yah..had a real bad dae..my pet event n i ruin it..12 questions prepared in 2 yrs juz to see my hopes crumble..
sad no doubt..cant believe wat i did..i did poor..realli..fate?
god's punishment for tving too much..cant ralli tell...
yup vect0rs was simple..plain SIMPLE..n i..watever..
yah..minus off some workin marks here n there..thers still light for 80..not gd enough..
gotto try out mfp2..difficult but its like forcin myself to do it..
no way back..no roads..juz trek on..hmm..
gg out at nite..had too..went to eat with frends..sorrry dear..juz cant dissapoint u..with my unhappi look..dear came dear went..
how sweet..love u..if oni the moment last..hm..love u so much..
deep down..still flustered..need a life..
will have life..love myself more..dissapointed

study days...

haha..darling...yah..juz saw our blog..wow..so happi to noe that u r happy..yah..mugging has to continue i guess..hmm..miss those days last year..was self reflecting n realise how our love has grown..still remember the msg at 1am plus? u were workin while i was at ps?haha..those msn days n yup there was once u wanted me to go with u for birthdae party?e one u loathe gg?haha..time realli flies..n yah sooner or later i be in army..my next home..but yup dun be sad..its nor forever..wat is forever is us..hmm..hope the cross protects u n brightens ur future when times are dark...yah since im not around..cant realli do much..hope that when things r not rite..cross be there for u...yah..love u so much dun wan u to leave me..but if u realli found someone better..then yah at least i noe the cross will protect u for e rest of ur life..but dun worry i have faith in us..so yah let me protect n cherish u for life OK?hmm.. think 2 yrs s kind of long..love u.

ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION!

the day started with us taking our very first theory paper....the one that i most dreaded... GP... ya.. think everything went fine.. and yes! we are going to watch sharks tale!!!!! =) yup..
went home and changed.. dear was in his new favourite shirt.. "rooney"? so redish! ya.. quite nice... =) then we went to PS for food! famished le! ya.. gotten our dinner.. so delicious!!!! the chicken leg meal! ya.. then went for sharks tale! so funny!!!!!!!! think oscar and lenin were animated so well! will never forget the scene when lenin says.. "yopu can't see me." so funny! ya.. then hahaz.. i was hungry again.. so my dear and me went to bugis for dinner... cozi ve got a yearning for mushroom soup! delicious! ad ya.. we had a value for meal.. in a restaurant, chicken cullet. soup and ice cream.. for only 6.80! next time muz go there often.. ya.. here comes the surprise! =) =) =) .. my dear got me a necklace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow.. for our one year anni! how sweet! never thought he'ss get anything... hmm!!!!!!!!!! think its so nice!!!!!!!!!!! itss a cross necklace! meant to protect me.. awe... so sweet......... ya.. then he put it on for me..... 9(o"o) awe.. this moment seems to freeze and how i wish it was forever... then our stomachs were filled and we got home.. ya dear i am stubborn.. and he gave in.. he said super many please dun send me home.. but erm.. i wanted.. can't bear to part actually... i know he didn't want to .. but ya.. "soft spot" ar.. hehezz.. ya.. so we bid goodnight with a pair of kisses... had a good day... ilove you.. happy one year anniversary! =)

at east coast 

dear..as promised.

"For better or worse Till death do us partI'll love you with every beat of my heart And I swear"

dear darling..wat a beautiful song...i realli wish to spend the rest of my life with u..e instance..e moment..it was juz like e best feelin i've got in my whole life..never have my world been so fufilled..n u my dear makes my world complete..

wowzz..guess our love was tested..but dear..u always held on to me..n i swear i wun let go..miss u so bad at times my dear..it hurts..think Ns time will be tough for u..but have faith in me..i will love u always..

exams closin in..our 1st year annivasary as well...darling..i juz wana tell u..i love u very much n i swear..i'll cherish and protect u..for as long as we can live..

my dear going to NS le....................................=(

my dear received his enlistment letter le... so FAST! he is going in on january 07.... so sadz.... some tears welled up in my eyes... going to miss him lots....................... haiz.. but guess every boy got to grow up to be a man... yes.. my NS man.. muz take carez k... i dun allow you to say what fishing............. i hate fishing! so yes! no more fishes... i only love eating them..... ya.. today we met up in school at physics lect... then outside general office... we were reading newspaper... then we got off to knowledge box... my dear got FIRST in maths! wow! and received a 10 bucks voucher.. then ya.. got me to knowledge box and got a pen and fragrance bag for me.. awe.... so sweet right....... =) then we went for econs and sat together for the second time! and the last time...it was nice to sit beside him.. can ask him qns... talk to him.. and yes.... can smile and laugh for the lesson... no l onger the boring ms chin lesson.... =) then we went to makan... and yes... chicken rice! my dear was famished.... then we talk about some stuff which makes my dear a little concerned and woke up... dear dun worry.. i'll learn to be decisive.. awe.. this juz goes to show how much my dear is concerned over me.. so were he jealous? hehez.z.. ya.. then we went to collect result slip! yes! though his wasn't ot yet.. but think he straight As.. and B3 for GP.. how i wish i were him... ya.. but i am super happy with my grades! ABC... not too bad i guess.. then he see me to bus stopand waited for my bus and parted... had a loving day.. laways feel great to be with him..i cherish you........ =)

dear....think i am sorry... too emotional......

A usual saturday night dinner, but this time round my dear was still down with flu, cough and now sore throat....... hmm.. darling ar darling.. muz be good.. no fried food... no cold drinks.. until you recover k.. =) yes.. we went to jurong point and my dear had a new hair cut... hmm.. actually yes looks smarter.. but no much difference.. maybe darling keep until 10 m, then cut k@!! hehezz... yaa.. then we had plain foodd.. yes my dear really listened to me.. awe.. dear mus resist temptation.. =) then we went to shop around.. jennifer, and handphone pouch.... then yes.. display cat.... then ya.. my dear wanted to send me home... buti refused... in the end, we landed at different bus stops... awe... i am sosorry... next time yes.. i won't resist le.. then ya.. dun know why but feel so emotional, coz felt quite forced to.. but yes my dear meant good or me.. then i thihnk i kept super quiet throughout the journey.. yes some tears.. coz ya.. juz emotional.. then my dear tried his best to cheer me up.. i muz have been super cold. i am sorry.. a little silly... yse.. cleared evrything at night when we chat... so darling.. i am sorry..... i realy shouldn't have beeen so cold.. i love you dear.... ( stop lai chuan le! wakie wakie!)

11th month anniversary 

13102004 

13102004 

me and dear 

awe.. my darling is down with flu.....

so here i am online along....coz my darling is sick... yup! darling when you see this.. get well soon k? i can't bear to see you feeling so weak... love you dear...... yup! the day started with our mornign msg1 always make my day seeing his msg..... then we met up up in school for lunch... haha.. this time someonw was later than me.. =) then we went for econs.. and sat separately ..focusing hard..... =) yaa.. and my darling say sitting on bench to wait for me after class... what a unique "bench".... hahazz... then we went to get bubble tea... sucha hot day! took a few photos... so FUN! and yes! he tickled me! big bully.......... next time i 'll pull of your shoes...hehehzz... yup! we waited for my bus.. and parted.. so sadzz... how i wish can spent every moment with him.. yes.. and now he is zzing.... resting to recover from flu.. so poor thing.. dear God, i pray that you will send your angels to look after him.. anmd bless him with your healing touch.... darling i miss you....... yes. mrs liew sounds good...(o",o)... good nitezz.. get well soon.....

wowz....

haha..dear dear..tis blog meant for us..so write all we wan k?
yupz...had a great day..haha started to board train at lakeside.. thinkin abt how u gg to dress..wat a sleepy afternoon..
then reach n met up at je..saw my beautiful darling walkin towards me..yap..a bit taller..but much more beautful..maybe coz of the hair..hmm..she looked grogeous..
awe..sat to wrong station..juz prove i didnt lie to u abt my directions..n found subway soon..knew my darling wanted to eat some real food..but i realli couldn't find..quite dissapointed with that though..n yupz..subway seems gd..at least to my dear..wasnt unhappi juz thinkin abt our differences..hoped my dear would be more gracious a bit..but if it hurts..then better not..
Went to padang n lets get the party started..haha..but..2 lame twins..argh..so dumb..but yah..always comfi to have my dear by my arms..juz wondered whether she feels comfi or not..
Finalli..some group shows.very impressed by the rest of the concert..will never forget the love songs sang by the 4..stood so close to my darling..juz wanted to kiss her n tell her that i love her so much as e song would go...guess my darling was geetiin real tired though..
Haha..marchi finalli came..reali dun see how and why people are riskin their lives for such performence..i wonder can they even bear to break their body..esp spine and be handicap 4ever..a bit worried that my darling love it so much..juz hope she wun try it..yupz..
didnt noe my darling slept..but guess my bod is comfi though..never told me u were tired dear..finalli took cabbie back..
n yes..realise my darling was holdin me tight n oso..she didnt zz..
gave her a gd nite kiss over her forehead..juz to bid gdbye and to say i love u..no matter wat k..
took cabbie back..tired..a bit hungry n its all worth it as long as my dear is with me...

EUPHORIA 2004

we had such a loving and wonderful night together! =) it all begins with us meeting at 420pm... and yes! i wasn't late k... hahaz..
FIRST TIME?! hahaz.. i was in heels! and my darling i was pretty!!!!!!!! =) so rare ar.... speaking about direction sense... hmm.. my darling got lost on our 11th anni and yes.. we sat to the wrong station yesterday..... so do we have any then? =P then yup.. had my dinner at subway! what a healthy burger! can never forget the taste.. so refreshing! (but darling detest i guess) so much vege! here come the main event! we went to EUPHORIA 2004 PARTY at padang! wow.. not too bad! the stage was grand.. and we sat there listening to the music.. hahazz.
at times my darling was nodding with the rythem... it begins with th twins.. quite boring i muz say initiallyy.. luck my darling ws there,,, got him around to be my ppillow... boring? lie on him and zz.... so comfi always! but the atmosphere got lifted up when SHINWA appeared! then came 4 in love then some thai singer... then MACHI! cool! i think i cannot never forget the moments of our last song.. coz dalring.. i really fell asleep when machi ssang the last song.. (think you didn't realized?) =) so comfi to hug you and zz.. hahaz.. think my darling is my pat time pillow... (o"o)
and ya.. all along my heels are troublsome.. hahaz.guesss my darling muz be su[per irritated by my whining.. coz my heels are argh......... maybe i have got tot get used... then we went 7 11. and had our "feeding pest" hahazz... was it delicious? yupzz... then we met the fierce lady taxi driver.. lucky we didn't sat hers.. then ya.. a nice cab uncle agree to drive uss.. even though he is rushing home.. how nice... =) we sat in cab and zz... my darling was so sweet.. didn't want to trouble the driver.. alight at my house and took another cab... hmm.. so considerate i muz say... yes! so everything endds off with a peck on his cheek. and yup! i love the day! but i love my darling more! good night.=)

darling and me 

oh my..i created a mass

yupz..didnt start off the day well...yes it spilled over from last nite..hurts qutie a bit..but hurts my dear even more..i love her so so much..i mean i realli can give up a lot for her..tats why for me love is selfish..but yah..created a mass of things..shld have known better..shld not have asked..it was an answer i dreaded and an answer i got..i juz wana be more of her..i juz wan her to have more of me..is that demanding?maybe it realli is..hope that time can cure the pain and change her views..maybe my vews too..juz hope that im most impt..haiz..argh..why muz things turn out like this..why cant she realli forever be there for me?Is there an answer out there...
i need to noe..help me.

a surprised evening into a lOVING night...... =)

yesterday was darling's best friend's birthday.... so yup! he went with him, and i went to maybaline's baptism.... so hAPPY for her... but misses my darling... never thought that i can go out with him later in the evening... hahazz... so we went to jurong point... hahazz...so HAppY! Like a dream come through... then we went to walk walk and walk... saw my darling's new pair of shOEs! AS COOL AS A CUCUMBER! hahaz..
but really nice.. artistic.. with the "90"... ya... we went to play ARCADE basketball!... dear deaar! we achieved 42 points together!!!!! and we exchanged for a scotchtape and a pencil lead... hahahz! so memorable! =) then yup... we went to eat... and yes! got 'cheated" by lADies remember? hahazz..pretty lady can't be trusted! but i am "EXCEPTION"!!!!! HEHEZZ... Then yup.. got to go home le.. coz getting late... we bid goodbye and ya... starting to miss you again... =)

a usual yet special sch day!

the very day started with my darling waiting for me at the bench.... as usual we met and smILEZ! and chat... think its so BLESSED to get to see your loved ones everyday... then yup i complained i was hungry... within seconds he said lets go and get food... how thoughtful can he get,.... =) then ya.. though we didn't manage to eat together, we met up during econs and after sch... then we met lin su hui, and she said that my darling has slimed down! compliment or not? and i look rosier! =) darling, i didn't nui dai you right? =P ya.. my darling is alittle disheartened today... so darling, when you read this blog... i wanna tell you that yup! never bow to defeat... and dun be disheartened k? coz you've got someone that LOVES you A LOT! and thats me.... its a test, not prelims yet... still got time.. yup! always here to relieve your stress and sadness... never alone... can complain to me... guess got to end by saying, darling i love you.... always.