hi dear..yeah it was a fabulous prom nite..dear..it doesn't matter wher we r..it oni matters that im with u...no doubt u looked "extra" beautiful yester..dolled up so nicely..hope u like the flowers..hope u had a great nite..
woke up this morn to realise i have 8 daes left..
more impt..to all..pls pray hard for the victims..havin fun is impt..but pls show some humanity..honour the dead..
short entry..bye

dear..think ther was some unhappiness last nite..hope u have gotten over it..juz hope to see u become a real lady thats all....
but im much much more sadden by tsunami..hear me rite..my heart realli pains when i see n hear more n more abt the tragedy..to those who have lost their loved ones...im sorry..i realli feel ur pain..n i sincerly hope they will rest in peace..realli hurts me a lot...broken family..lost love ones..i got a friend whose friend tellin me how sad his dad was workin in gleneagles..a family lost a dad a mom leavin a 3 yrs old kid..for another..a wife lost his hushband n all her children..it muz have hurt..lets forget abt economics..coz money cant buy life..n life is the most precious gift of god..
had been watchin cnn cna bbc till late these daes..2am?3am?..n it hurts more n more..im sorry i cant put myself to smile these daes..think u be seein the less funny side of me..i cant help it..im saddened by the loss..3000 death to 20000 death to 50000 death n presently its 80000...
god oh god..pls have mercy on these people..most of them dun even have enough of food on normal daes...this incident realli makes me doubt the presence of god..any religion..the torment and sufferin on these people are unbearable..its a scar that cant be hidden..
if im god..i would rather i endure all sufferings..so that mankind prevails..if im god..i would rather tsunami hurt me...then to destroy the people's life...
rapid baurial..stenchin bodies..rottin decease..flies on wounds..bloatin body that pupurled due to lack of oxygen..i realli feel a lot..n for those that have seen this blog..heres something i read off a christian book...
if everybody on earth is to pray for something..the something will always come true.
pls pray that the victims souls rest in peace and that more survivors can be found.
Peace.

Christmas eve and day 2425122004..a dae i will never forget

wow..dear..love is so awesome..n im crazin over u..lovin u bits n peices..loving u so much..
simply..love u..
wat an eve...come to think abt it..its oni our 2nd eve..but tis dae was meant to be special..santa gave me my wish..n im so thankful..i feel like crying..realli do..but no..i wun..i must hold on..wat a dae..its gg 3 am..baby...i still wana tell u i love u so so much..i cant stop smiling..pls..pls..let me take care of u..for life..i realli mean it..wat the sun means to the earth..is wat u mean to me..i cant lose u..i sincerly cant..
heres the eve..me been shoppin so many daes for my dear's gift n i reall spend a lot of time n effort..tryin to get some special stuff..bear..skirt..shirt..silvery..xceries..hamsters..bags..shoes.. i went orchard..jp..cck..bpp..tbp..ps..thers juz so much gifts..so it became a headache.(dear..im fine now.)
so woke up tis morn..woke up early..n set off at 1240..shld have enough time rite?wrong..haha..drop 1 stop more..cant squeeze out..quite unbelievable rite? so walk all the way to ps wher thers more bears..more skirts..more etc..unbelievable..kids shld be so thankful..lifes so gd for them..went heeren..clock ticked..dear called..im like.."i call u when im done k..wait ok?" n msg "dear, 5 more minutes ok?"heart in the mouth..
Ayha!Giodarno..ok i noe its lame..its plain..its so unfestive..so normal..but that was e oni thing sticky to my mind..dear..i still think im so bad..yah..got 2 shirt..one sphet..one v.."s" size..ok a bit short..but can change rite?haha got mistaken as an ABC..think im gg drop my buisness conversation accent..im a singaporean..happily..no..worriely hush out n got to heeren..was walkin n lookin at the floor thinkin"wat have i done here..oh my..im so useless..its so plain..get a card?wher?got time?oh no.."worried...absoluetly...
finalli meet up with dear...unbelievable..coz the dress looks fabulous on her(dear..it does..do note that its not the other way round i.e.she looks gd in dress)it realli does..yup..lady..famine(hunger?ok i spell wrongly)..elegant..one word:beautiful..oh my..lookin at myself..im startin to get worried..but think im alrite rite?walked to 4 way junc...theneh..take picture!haha..so happi..coz..ok..coz..very happi..haha..yup..went up to heeren..annex isssit?haha..changed bills to coins..but the process was difficult..i got lost inside(dear,no laughin..think peeps who noe me well noe that im quite lost.)finalli took pics..wow..dear looked gorgeous..realli..then had to add design n pattern..haha..quite suprised that 2 science students can do so well..haha..got it laminated..
on the way down..
came to my realisation teenagers are so bold,daring,free,so un orderly..hmm..juz felt that from way people dresss..culture shock?yes..im no orchardbug..im libraryworm..n then got to the telephatic spot.."start with T ritez?"haha.."yah"..wow..think i can feel for my dear..yupz boaty at tiong bahru..very squeezy in train..as always..no seats..saw 1 jjcian..forgot her name..im sorry i realli have bad bad memory..
yeah reach tbp..n got our normal boaty..think the ambience is gd..window seats..hot food..cozy tables..yah n gd food..had our usual meat n veg boaty..awe..think my dear is so so hungry..tucked in le..haha..hotdog..veg..balls..meat..fish..rice wow..gd gd food..so full..but my dear is noT!awe dardar..nxt time let me noe okie?muz feed u till u full my precious..took train now to kallang..had some sweet moments wrappin my dear in my arms..so so comfy..so loving..so love..so loved..train to kallang was fast..."reached le?"i was shocked...
haha..reach kallang..tryin to find heaven n earth(haha for peeps out ther..no puns here..merely a drink)dear..i think cheers have..next time i muz get it for u ok?waited a while..for bus..everybody so dressed for church..think my dear got tired..rested onto me a while..not forgetin those "droppin incident" which i shell not discuss..awe dear..im ther k?n im not generous so i'll help u..board bus...reach indoor stadium...
dear was so anxious..think she wanted a rest badly..awe..im sorry baby..couldnt help u much..but got our way into the stadia..oh my..thers so many peeps..can u imagine the whole indoor stadium is full..as CHC puts it "capacity crowd" had a hard time locatin our seats..haha dear got so anxious..she asked this poor chap..whers this then listen to phone without his reply..then ask again..got some reply..but listen to phone more..then walked off..poor chap..yah no nxt time k?dear..ther r helpers..muz be more respectful k?haha..aniway i noe u r nvr disrespectful..juz got anxious at the moment..but dear..they tried to help..got our seats..wow.. the performance was spectecular..okie thers loads of songs..skit..prayers..but i think i shall sae in catagories...
thers a lot of hope..u look at all the peeps around..u noe religion evolves arnd their life..n in him..they find hope..a desire to be a useful being..a gd being..how do i noe..i looked at kid..elderly n teenager..thers so much unfufilled dreams that they believe he has set out for them..
thers a lot of joy...this church to me is so joyous..so happi..so joyous...people were singingg...with a smile..its unbeievable(its 340 so spelling detoriatin)..everybody is so at home so in tune..so family..its sucha joy.."silent nite..holy nite.."feels so so gd..
thers a lot of entertainment..which i strongly detest coz i dun think wanted peeps to break their bones for that..n a very dramatic skit..okie..thats seriously wat i dun like..thats entertainment..i noe its christmas..but i would like to sae: we celebrate this dae for he was born to salvage mankind..not for entertainment..maybe more love for god..CHC..food for thought....
thers lotz of manipulation..the pestor is the best salesperson..if u realise he lead his congregtion thru a series of questuons..answers..self comforts..relation to all men..n high regard to him..dear this is actualli a way of manipulation..ask any phycologist..this guy is powerful..he controls people's mind..thats scary..im not one of them luckily..
but overall its a lively church no doubt..think im more in for quiet hymns..prayers..songs..dear..
u dun have to be loud to get to him..u have to be sincere..feel it..sing it..not the other way..no offences CHC but honestly..how many peeps pray n dun feel for him..im worried..i looked around..peeps were playin hp games or msgs..not a gd sign at all...but yup..gtg n left at 9+
SO COLD..haha..hug u tight in the bus..n lay a kiss on ur face..dear..hopefulli it somehows warm ur heart...took train back..dear was famish yet tired..poor thing..but can smell cake le..so decided to hang on..found seats..n she juz wrap across me n rested..awe..thats so nice a feelin...realli..me tried to sing..hymn..but juz fail to let u zz dear..awe..had a lovin time..n reached je le..woke up n board 333..haha..dear wante to open her gift..so naughty..so love u...haha..on 333 okie?(dear i cant make it le..its gg 4..will finish it soon ok?muack!)
n im back its 5 now haha..5pm..christmas dae..still tired..(for those who think i logged for 13hrs no i woke at 10 n got to go somewher)...yah..so we went up n my dear opened her present..heartbeat so fast..yet so scared to dissapoint..very worried..but my dear saw it n she was happi..awe..dear..thks for loving my norm xmas gift..next yr be better k..but my dear kept liking it..think she was so happy.."thats what i wanted".."thats e color"..felt so gd when u r happi dear..well..got quite a few kisses..awe so sweet..love ur lips to bits le..saw dead was so happi..so xingfu..awe..a few more kisses..awe so much vive and love..dear..i treasure ur love..realli do..
Accompanied dardar home..yup its aunties birthdae..haha..i was pretty nervous realli..but i noe if i went my dear would be so so happy..n she was..hugged me and told me dun worry...phew.. got into her hm..greeted auntie..bro..gave the pressies..cut cake n eat cake..think her mom was happy..i mean she welcomed me so much..but yah think she got quite serious after the "sweepin and moppin" incident..over-sensitive?definately not..think can feel shes a little angry..realli dear..trust my instincts k?n wasnt happy with dear coz i accidentally saw what i didnt want to see..oh my..yah..quite disapointed the way dear behaved at hm..i mean..dear's 19..n as a lady..obviously i hope she tries to be more protective and sensitive over some stuff..dear.. treasure urself okie?left her place soon...
Got near bustop..gotto say i didnt wana sae gd bye..was hoppin dear asked me to stay..think not her..was pacin..dug my pockets..look back..look up..no shadows again..think i realli showed my displeasure or nuisance..but i juz wanted to let her noe..some impt things muz(not shld) be done in some ways..kinda disspointed that as a bf...coz juz thought all girls noe its not to rite to be less careful in some issues..(for those who dun understand..dun think dirty pls..although contents sound explicit)
Think i went hm...and open pressie..love it dear..muackz!belt(need to slim)...wallet(need to fatten)haha..but i treasure them dear..co its from u..ask bag if need clarification...awe so sweet..decided to call dear to prevent unhappiness over e issues or nonsense i started..think she was fine..realli?...went hm..nobody..gosh shouldnt have left..maybe she shld not let me leave..
think my parents n sis were party animals(former reach hm 13o..latter reach hm 230)..at 1145 i was early..so sad..miss u so much..n called dear..think i made her tear in the conversation..
"why didnt u stop me"..how selfish can i be..but all guys wana feel loved at times like that..
nonsense?yes.love?yes.why cant i stop her..dear..think its easier for u to sae somehow..but maybe not u..couldnt remember guys stopin girls oni remember the other way round..Chauvinistic?pride?egoistic?yes but i guess somehow all guys are a little at times..baby pardon me for the nonsense k..actualli..u dun have to live with them..but love prevailed...i was juz wishin if thers god..pls allow santa to grant me a wish..i wana see her..n guess..guess..guess..
My god..shes here..she lied to me..n it was 1230..so late..dear.im shocked..im touched..n yes there was some tears..i had to withstand it..cant cry..she was tearin..i hug her so tight nit seemed forever..we then went to sit..(i pinched myself okie?)..ther was my love..awe..i try to hush her up..awe..we realli kissed n made up..it was a long deep one..think 2X..so much love n emotions..feelings...affection..awe...held her tight..wana let her noe i love her so much..she hide in my arms..she said she loved it.."can i rest forever".."yeah if u let me marry u".."shoulders so cusiohin..feel so gd"..in my head..i was praying..dear..i swear i will love n cherish u..n one dae i muz marry u..im urs..sounds mawkish..but love is so sweet..so affectionate..awe..think my dear loved me so much..she rested for a while..but i swear she will be the oni woman to rest there..oni woman..no others(not even mom)..hugged her tight and told her we had to bid goodbye..gave her one last kiss..muack..n saw her to the taxi back...
Wat a nite..to god..i oni have 1 wish..i sincerly want to marry my dear..love her and cherish her for the rest of her life..pls..pls..pls..grant me my wish..i swear i'll try my utmost to protect and respect her..never to ill treat her..coz this is the least she deserve----my love.

all my bags are packed

haha...dar dar..all my bags r packed...okie..yah this song keeps hummin in my mind..im leavin real soon..yah gg miss u lotz..thats why i wish u had worked less these daes..but yupz..some things cant be help n i muz juz try to understand..miss u..oh my..dear..im sory for being harsh..accept my apologies but i wish for more time with u...dumb?absolutely me.

How do I,Get through one night without you?If I had to live without you,What kind of life would that be?Oh, I need....I need you in my arms, need you to hold,You're my world, my heart, my soul,If you ever leave,Baby you would take away everything good in my life,And tell me nowHow do I live without you?I want to know,How do I breathe without you?If you ever go,How do I ever, ever survive?How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?Without you,There'd be no sun in my sky,There would be no love in my life,There'd be no world left for me.And I,Baby I don't know what I would do,I'd be lost if I lost you,If you ever leave,Baby you would take away everything good in my life,And tell me now,How do I live without you?I want to know,How do I breathe without you?If you ever go,How do I ever, ever survive?How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?Please tell me baby,How do I go on?If you ever leave,Baby you would take away everything,I need you with me,Baby don't you know that you're everything,Good in my life?And tell me now,How do I live without you,I want to know,How do I breathe without you?If you ever go,How do I ever, ever survive?How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?How do I live without you?How do I live without you baby?

phew

dear..yester was a real close call..i love u..dun leave me..thk god.

aRRGGGHHH!

todae is realli unbveielivable..feel so down so sad n yet no one comforted me..im realli tired..
cant believe she got angry when i said her hm is one of the messiest...can u believe this kid..who juz plainly wana help..got bitten in sucha way..maybe im an idiot..i cant believe it..she was Angry..for?for i love her so much n im willing to give in n give up so much for her..im realli saddened..told her i love her so many times..n yet she was angry..oh my...i had a real bad nite..thinkin n thinkin..im tired..try zzz 3 odd hrs..its bad enough and yet i wonder how can she zz as though nothin happen..i need some comfortin..im oni human..i need love..i look up at the sky firin so much questions..why wun u comfort me..why muz i tell u then u will comfort me..why muz i always break silence..why muz u hug ur bag..do u even realise that huggin ur bag indirectly tells me my non-exsistance..why wun u sae something..why wun u cry..why wun u hug me..am i realli tha bad..i cant stand it..n worst if u read this im so scared u will ask me to break up..why wun u juz love me more..do u see e pain in my eyes..e agony of lovin someone so much yet recievin so little..have u ever seen a big man tear..why..why wun u show a wee bit more love..more concern..n comfort..cant believe i have to look up e sky for those..do u even noe e way i feel..how much i tried to give in..its becoz i love u..n u got angry over such an issue.. u turned cold last nite..absolutly..im so saddedned after showerin u with all my heart..i swear ii'll cherish u n this is e best i can do..i dunno wat i did wrong..but when will u juz look at me tell me "dear im sorry" izzit my fault..i beg to differ...i feel like i lost u..i need someone who shower me with love too..someone that noe im sad n is willing to cheer me up..am i askin too much?how i wish u didnt went work n juz ask me to go beach with u..u didnt..n that didnt cross ur mind.. so who will love me? i look up then my head turned down..i look back ther was no one..not even ur shadow..think u prefer feel n silence..i lost my feel...i dun wana break silence..i dun wan keep comfortin..i wana be comforted..n dun sae fen shou..coz if u love me..u will noe its gonna tear my heart even more..i wonder whether u remember every little thing i do..or maybe if im gone..u will come to cherish n love me more..dunno whether u realise thers this kid out ther always thinkin of all means to cheer u up..think u will sae u noe..n u might sae i dun need to..but why not u try to make this kid noe that all hes doin is worth it..i sound so sick..askin for love..im so ashame of myself..im so digusted with myself..im so..useless.

my fav tee! 

hAPPY 13 month anniversary! doesn't my dear looks smart??
its been 13months since we got together! haha... and this is my day off! we met up at 230 at jurong east mrt station.. and set off... to JUNCTION EIGHT! never been there... so yup! dear brought me there to shop! ya... saw a beautiful shaft... but mum dun allow me to buy.. say waste of money.. got scolded then.. but ya.. dear was there... so yup. at least i dun feel so bad.. he kept trying to cheer me up.. love you! then we kept shoppping.. and shopping.. wow! junction 8 is big! haha... saw some kids using styrofoam to make snow on top... hahaha.. and there were kids below trying to keep the "snow".. so cute! ya..we kept shoping for heels! my dear became my personal "nanny'.. keep helping me to wear shoes... awe.. so sweet.. =) then we went to eat kaya toast.. DELICIOUS! wonder how they toast the bread! so crispy butter juz melts in your mouth... kaya wa good too! yakun breakfast? next time muz eat again! then we set off to esplanade for some peace... went to eat thai express.. got to say yakun was nicer.. hahaz.. but i love every dinner with darling... tried soft shell crab.. interesting.. coz we ate the shell... haven gotten diarrhoea yet.. and yes! darling, tian hua you hao ma ma? hahaa... then we scroll by the river and watch the night view of singapore... quite beautiful.. never really see such sight in singapore yet... =) especially with your love one beside you, everything juz seems so romantic and peaceful.. haha.. ya.. no kissing right darling? got rejected 4 times, but accepted6 or 7 times? so ya.. cannot complain k! ya.. then we had some sharing of past.. felt much better after telling him.. cried but i have got his shoulder... so comfi.. awe... haha.. and ya i was shy.. for some time. so have to hide in your arms.. oko.. sno laughing dear.. really shy.. you should know why.. *winks* had a good 13th month celebration.. miss you now dear........

lazy

haha..dar dar..where shld i start..erm east coast? bukit panjang? jtc?heart so filled with emotions think if i type everything..figer need screws le..haha so muz feel okieZ?haha..so tire ok lets backtract..todae went runnin..5k at least..after so much soccering.. yeah think my leg was achein..my back too..haha..everywher..lazy freddy..not much goals now..not much drive now..dun wana feel like tat..haha..had probs doin pull up n sit up..okie..no laughin..will improve..yah..think muz train up stamina..was runnin when all my lifestory skim past me..pri scch..sec sch..jc..ah..very standard..proud of sometimes i've done..shameful of the rest..yah
hmm..realise i miss books too..realli do..okie okuie..lets recount then..yester...went to find job..seriously..im not drivven by money..get me a job i like n im sure i will do my utmost to xcel..
went jtc..some tall building with dar dar..gosh so many peeps lookin..n they are oni 16 mostly..unbelievable..do their parents noe? i swas thinkin..n yah recuit express..recuit centre base on commision..dear..they needed u more than u needed them..think..its the truth..those peeps were as desperate as us..yah..my dar dar wore a beautiful skirt..n a long sleeveshirt..dear think u shld dress like that more..think u realli look gorgeous..haha christmas tree.. remembered when i was young..aunt's hm..christmas..awe..but osono snow..went on to look for my job...half hearted..but dear wanted me to see it thru..dar dar..i realli think ther r better jobs..i juz need one chance..giveme me job n i shall excel..i wana be succesful..n trust me promoter..waitress..skales wun make a gd cv actualli on long run..it ruins it..read frm papers..ah..got interview..the guy was starin at me..hard stare..n i looked him in the eye..until his eyes moved off mine..im confident as he is..realli n that shocked him coz after that he didnt wana see me.. i realli think peeps shld be daring to ask ven when applyin jobs..the other two jc gals..ar let them go ntu or nus..in this world u seriously need wits n comm skills..Think,Speak,Impress.. even if u made a fool..so wat?at least u r bold..guess im so different n i xpect alot.but thats part of evolution..okie..think im off haha..yah then went taka..wow so crowded..money realli spins.. hmm..thinkin how to be rich..haha..went to eat with dar dar..gd food..i gotto sae..saw jacq..think shes shoppin..rich?maybe..then left for hm..never forgetin the stare of love..n the hugs n kisses.. awe dar dar was so loving...muack!okie now is time for bk panjang plaza..haaha..dar dar was like so unhappi when she saw me..dampen my spirits..realise hp got probs..dear..next time pls dun panic or worry..calm down.think.seriously i cant tell her enough of this..yah but dar dar is till dar dar..i mean even if im distured..shes my oni dar dar..muz love muz cherish..so yup ate at bk panjang..food terrible..realli..i mean the rice..yah shop a while..n think saw dar dar frend..haha saw the revealin shirt..hope she love it..coz its hers alreadi..dar dar muz teng ai u see..hmm..went hm le..not forgtin to see her hm..okie now for east coast...haha hand pain le.. haha..bedok..incredible..east coast..muz feel..realli coz thers too much lovey dovey to pen catch up nxt time!

its a beautiful day............. wew ent to look for jobs together.. not that easy actually.. waited and stuff... yup.. met up at jurong east.. my dear was so early.. =) i wasn't late too...yup... so we went to maken! i was in my new skirt! and my dear said i look good!!!!! hehehzz..=) guess what!!! yup.. so sweet of my dear... he went to bukit panjang plaza early in the morning to get me the shirt i want!!!!!!! awe... how sweet... =) then we went for my interview and things went quite smoothly i gues.. afterwhich we went to bugis for his..... dear got to go for training! so yup! thats accepted i think! so now its up to whether the job is good oor not.. then we went to ngee ann city for my interview again.. but realized was the same company as jurong.. so yup didn't went in then.. hahaz.. tummy groaning! so went to eat at taka! wow! delicious! the seafood soup was so fresh and clear! delicious! and my dear help me peel prawn shell...awe... so sweet.. it was late.. and we had to go home for dinner... dear dear.. alright.. you are nicer to hug than doggie..(o"o) never went interview with darling before and i muz say he is the best companion! =)

sunset at east coast 

what a beautiful day....... =)

it was a day after our AS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!! so excited!!! can go out with darling without any worries abt time ............. wowz!!!!!!!!!! yup.... we met at jurong east... hahahzz.. this time my darling awas late.. hahahzz..
so rare!!!! oh mine! hahaz... dearie was late dearie was late.... hehezz...=) yup...having east coast in mind, we sat to Bedok mrt station... after having our lunch... the sky turned dark... and it rained! awe..... so ya.. can't go east coast at the moment... we went to cine and catch INCREDIBLES! quite nice i muz say... though not that funny.. but very loving... quite like the show.. was cold and dearie gave me warm... so sweett.... (o"o) yup.. hahaz..
and i got my ear rings!!!!!!! so nice!! then we set off to East coast...... thank God it didn't rain... and we reached there juz in time to catch the sunset.... how beautiful..... darling sat behind me all along... so i didn't get to see his face... hehehezz... ya.. it was so romantic... darling huging me... sittingby the quiet coast...watching sun setting... it was beautiful... felt so warm and loving...how i wish the moment lasted forever... ya.. treasured it very much... but very moments dun last... my mum called! she didn't have keys.. and i was suppose to go home... so sadz... but yup! we had our very moments... =) so yes.. we cherished it.. we left East coast and headed home.. but mum called again.. and yes.. my bro came home.. so ya.. i need not go home.. which means we can spent more time together! (",) we went to eat at BEdok.. food was good1 i had my ROJak! wow! and he had his rice! along with chee guey! delicious! =) then we headed home... hahaz..guess what? we met my dearie's friend on train.. and ya.. so chatted.. was tired... but ya.. got my darling's shoulder to lie on... was cushioning.... hahaz... he saw me home.. can't bear to part but got to.. exchanged our goodnight kisses... will never forget such beautiful moments.... love you.. yes. promoted my dearie... =)

lalalala..hmm..

yah thats been my mood these daes..happi exams gg over..happi?nah..oni if i was less complacent..thought i knew it all..thought i had the luck..guess e duck came..hmm..
anyway..duck is quite x these daes..was contemplatin whether to eat duck rice for 4 bucks at a hawker..logic came..chicky shld be fine at 2..haha..ok..xams endin..xmas commin..\now with a laptop..n a nice song..."theres no laughter in the air oni sadness in the air..since u been gone..without u where do i belong"..at times my heart aches..miss her..
so much..it cuts deep...actualli i realli out in 2yrs of effort..lookin back mayeb i shld have played more..no..its not in me to play hard..its in me to mug hard..holi work?wealth managemnt?revamp whole bedroom?novels?fitness?soccer...loads of post As stuff..will miss books..till we be friends again..2.5yrs..will u still remember u had such a loyal buddy.. will this "man" become a real "man"..things are fated..but never blame fate..saw this quote before:"dont blame ur cards..play them to ur best abilities"..true..life is juz like a pack of cards 52 diff ones..sometimes u get it sometimes u dun..saw a book..thinkin of borrowin it..intrestin..peace out.dear,l love u.

dear came n went..oh no...

yah..had a real bad dae..my pet event n i ruin it..12 questions prepared in 2 yrs juz to see my hopes crumble..
sad no doubt..cant believe wat i did..i did poor..realli..fate?
god's punishment for tving too much..cant ralli tell...
yup vect0rs was simple..plain SIMPLE..n i..watever..
yah..minus off some workin marks here n there..thers still light for 80..not gd enough..
gotto try out mfp2..difficult but its like forcin myself to do it..
no way back..no roads..juz trek on..hmm..
gg out at nite..had too..went to eat with frends..sorrry dear..juz cant dissapoint u..with my unhappi look..dear came dear went..
how sweet..love u..if oni the moment last..hm..love u so much..
deep down..still flustered..need a life..
will have life..love myself more..dissapointed

study days...

haha..darling...yah..juz saw our blog..wow..so happi to noe that u r happy..yah..mugging has to continue i guess..hmm..miss those days last year..was self reflecting n realise how our love has grown..still remember the msg at 1am plus? u were workin while i was at ps?haha..those msn days n yup there was once u wanted me to go with u for birthdae party?e one u loathe gg?haha..time realli flies..n yah sooner or later i be in army..my next home..but yup dun be sad..its nor forever..wat is forever is us..hmm..hope the cross protects u n brightens ur future when times are dark...yah since im not around..cant realli do much..hope that when things r not rite..cross be there for u...yah..love u so much dun wan u to leave me..but if u realli found someone better..then yah at least i noe the cross will protect u for e rest of ur life..but dun worry i have faith in us..so yah let me protect n cherish u for life OK?hmm.. think 2 yrs s kind of long..love u.

ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION!

the day started with us taking our very first theory paper....the one that i most dreaded... GP... ya.. think everything went fine.. and yes! we are going to watch sharks tale!!!!! =) yup..
went home and changed.. dear was in his new favourite shirt.. "rooney"? so redish! ya.. quite nice... =) then we went to PS for food! famished le! ya.. gotten our dinner.. so delicious!!!! the chicken leg meal! ya.. then went for sharks tale! so funny!!!!!!!! think oscar and lenin were animated so well! will never forget the scene when lenin says.. "yopu can't see me." so funny! ya.. then hahaz.. i was hungry again.. so my dear and me went to bugis for dinner... cozi ve got a yearning for mushroom soup! delicious! ad ya.. we had a value for meal.. in a restaurant, chicken cullet. soup and ice cream.. for only 6.80! next time muz go there often.. ya.. here comes the surprise! =) =) =) .. my dear got me a necklace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow.. for our one year anni! how sweet! never thought he'ss get anything... hmm!!!!!!!!!! think its so nice!!!!!!!!!!! itss a cross necklace! meant to protect me.. awe... so sweet......... ya.. then he put it on for me..... 9(o"o) awe.. this moment seems to freeze and how i wish it was forever... then our stomachs were filled and we got home.. ya dear i am stubborn.. and he gave in.. he said super many please dun send me home.. but erm.. i wanted.. can't bear to part actually... i know he didn't want to .. but ya.. "soft spot" ar.. hehezz.. ya.. so we bid goodnight with a pair of kisses... had a good day... ilove you.. happy one year anniversary! =)

at east coast 

dear..as promised.

"For better or worse Till death do us partI'll love you with every beat of my heart And I swear"

dear darling..wat a beautiful song...i realli wish to spend the rest of my life with u..e instance..e moment..it was juz like e best feelin i've got in my whole life..never have my world been so fufilled..n u my dear makes my world complete..

wowzz..guess our love was tested..but dear..u always held on to me..n i swear i wun let go..miss u so bad at times my dear..it hurts..think Ns time will be tough for u..but have faith in me..i will love u always..

exams closin in..our 1st year annivasary as well...darling..i juz wana tell u..i love u very much n i swear..i'll cherish and protect u..for as long as we can live..

my dear going to NS le....................................=(

my dear received his enlistment letter le... so FAST! he is going in on january 07.... so sadz.... some tears welled up in my eyes... going to miss him lots....................... haiz.. but guess every boy got to grow up to be a man... yes.. my NS man.. muz take carez k... i dun allow you to say what fishing............. i hate fishing! so yes! no more fishes... i only love eating them..... ya.. today we met up in school at physics lect... then outside general office... we were reading newspaper... then we got off to knowledge box... my dear got FIRST in maths! wow! and received a 10 bucks voucher.. then ya.. got me to knowledge box and got a pen and fragrance bag for me.. awe.... so sweet right....... =) then we went for econs and sat together for the second time! and the last time...it was nice to sit beside him.. can ask him qns... talk to him.. and yes.... can smile and laugh for the lesson... no l onger the boring ms chin lesson.... =) then we went to makan... and yes... chicken rice! my dear was famished.... then we talk about some stuff which makes my dear a little concerned and woke up... dear dun worry.. i'll learn to be decisive.. awe.. this juz goes to show how much my dear is concerned over me.. so were he jealous? hehez.z.. ya.. then we went to collect result slip! yes! though his wasn't ot yet.. but think he straight As.. and B3 for GP.. how i wish i were him... ya.. but i am super happy with my grades! ABC... not too bad i guess.. then he see me to bus stopand waited for my bus and parted... had a loving day.. laways feel great to be with him..i cherish you........ =)

dear....think i am sorry... too emotional......

A usual saturday night dinner, but this time round my dear was still down with flu, cough and now sore throat....... hmm.. darling ar darling.. muz be good.. no fried food... no cold drinks.. until you recover k.. =) yes.. we went to jurong point and my dear had a new hair cut... hmm.. actually yes looks smarter.. but no much difference.. maybe darling keep until 10 m, then cut k@!! hehezz... yaa.. then we had plain foodd.. yes my dear really listened to me.. awe.. dear mus resist temptation.. =) then we went to shop around.. jennifer, and handphone pouch.... then yes.. display cat.... then ya.. my dear wanted to send me home... buti refused... in the end, we landed at different bus stops... awe... i am sosorry... next time yes.. i won't resist le.. then ya.. dun know why but feel so emotional, coz felt quite forced to.. but yes my dear meant good or me.. then i thihnk i kept super quiet throughout the journey.. yes some tears.. coz ya.. juz emotional.. then my dear tried his best to cheer me up.. i muz have been super cold. i am sorry.. a little silly... yse.. cleared evrything at night when we chat... so darling.. i am sorry..... i realy shouldn't have beeen so cold.. i love you dear.... ( stop lai chuan le! wakie wakie!)

11th month anniversary 

13102004 

13102004 

me and dear 

awe.. my darling is down with flu.....

so here i am online along....coz my darling is sick... yup! darling when you see this.. get well soon k? i can't bear to see you feeling so weak... love you dear...... yup! the day started with our mornign msg1 always make my day seeing his msg..... then we met up up in school for lunch... haha.. this time someonw was later than me.. =) then we went for econs.. and sat separately ..focusing hard..... =) yaa.. and my darling say sitting on bench to wait for me after class... what a unique "bench".... hahazz... then we went to get bubble tea... sucha hot day! took a few photos... so FUN! and yes! he tickled me! big bully.......... next time i 'll pull of your shoes...hehehzz... yup! we waited for my bus.. and parted.. so sadzz... how i wish can spent every moment with him.. yes.. and now he is zzing.... resting to recover from flu.. so poor thing.. dear God, i pray that you will send your angels to look after him.. anmd bless him with your healing touch.... darling i miss you....... yes. mrs liew sounds good...(o",o)... good nitezz.. get well soon.....

wowz....

haha..dear dear..tis blog meant for us..so write all we wan k?
yupz...had a great day..haha started to board train at lakeside.. thinkin abt how u gg to dress..wat a sleepy afternoon..
then reach n met up at je..saw my beautiful darling walkin towards me..yap..a bit taller..but much more beautful..maybe coz of the hair..hmm..she looked grogeous..
awe..sat to wrong station..juz prove i didnt lie to u abt my directions..n found subway soon..knew my darling wanted to eat some real food..but i realli couldn't find..quite dissapointed with that though..n yupz..subway seems gd..at least to my dear..wasnt unhappi juz thinkin abt our differences..hoped my dear would be more gracious a bit..but if it hurts..then better not..
Went to padang n lets get the party started..haha..but..2 lame twins..argh..so dumb..but yah..always comfi to have my dear by my arms..juz wondered whether she feels comfi or not..
Finalli..some group shows.very impressed by the rest of the concert..will never forget the love songs sang by the 4..stood so close to my darling..juz wanted to kiss her n tell her that i love her so much as e song would go...guess my darling was geetiin real tired though..
Haha..marchi finalli came..reali dun see how and why people are riskin their lives for such performence..i wonder can they even bear to break their body..esp spine and be handicap 4ever..a bit worried that my darling love it so much..juz hope she wun try it..yupz..
didnt noe my darling slept..but guess my bod is comfi though..never told me u were tired dear..finalli took cabbie back..
n yes..realise my darling was holdin me tight n oso..she didnt zz..
gave her a gd nite kiss over her forehead..juz to bid gdbye and to say i love u..no matter wat k..
took cabbie back..tired..a bit hungry n its all worth it as long as my dear is with me...

EUPHORIA 2004

we had such a loving and wonderful night together! =) it all begins with us meeting at 420pm... and yes! i wasn't late k... hahaz..
FIRST TIME?! hahaz.. i was in heels! and my darling i was pretty!!!!!!!! =) so rare ar.... speaking about direction sense... hmm.. my darling got lost on our 11th anni and yes.. we sat to the wrong station yesterday..... so do we have any then? =P then yup.. had my dinner at subway! what a healthy burger! can never forget the taste.. so refreshing! (but darling detest i guess) so much vege! here come the main event! we went to EUPHORIA 2004 PARTY at padang! wow.. not too bad! the stage was grand.. and we sat there listening to the music.. hahazz.
at times my darling was nodding with the rythem... it begins with th twins.. quite boring i muz say initiallyy.. luck my darling ws there,,, got him around to be my ppillow... boring? lie on him and zz.... so comfi always! but the atmosphere got lifted up when SHINWA appeared! then came 4 in love then some thai singer... then MACHI! cool! i think i cannot never forget the moments of our last song.. coz dalring.. i really fell asleep when machi ssang the last song.. (think you didn't realized?) =) so comfi to hug you and zz.. hahaz.. think my darling is my pat time pillow... (o"o)
and ya.. all along my heels are troublsome.. hahaz.guesss my darling muz be su[per irritated by my whining.. coz my heels are argh......... maybe i have got tot get used... then we went 7 11. and had our "feeding pest" hahazz... was it delicious? yupzz... then we met the fierce lady taxi driver.. lucky we didn't sat hers.. then ya.. a nice cab uncle agree to drive uss.. even though he is rushing home.. how nice... =) we sat in cab and zz... my darling was so sweet.. didn't want to trouble the driver.. alight at my house and took another cab... hmm.. so considerate i muz say... yes! so everything endds off with a peck on his cheek. and yup! i love the day! but i love my darling more! good night.=)

darling and me 

oh my..i created a mass

yupz..didnt start off the day well...yes it spilled over from last nite..hurts qutie a bit..but hurts my dear even more..i love her so so much..i mean i realli can give up a lot for her..tats why for me love is selfish..but yah..created a mass of things..shld have known better..shld not have asked..it was an answer i dreaded and an answer i got..i juz wana be more of her..i juz wan her to have more of me..is that demanding?maybe it realli is..hope that time can cure the pain and change her views..maybe my vews too..juz hope that im most impt..haiz..argh..why muz things turn out like this..why cant she realli forever be there for me?Is there an answer out there...
i need to noe..help me.

a surprised evening into a lOVING night...... =)

yesterday was darling's best friend's birthday.... so yup! he went with him, and i went to maybaline's baptism.... so hAPPY for her... but misses my darling... never thought that i can go out with him later in the evening... hahazz... so we went to jurong point... hahazz...so HAppY! Like a dream come through... then we went to walk walk and walk... saw my darling's new pair of shOEs! AS COOL AS A CUCUMBER! hahaz..
but really nice.. artistic.. with the "90"... ya... we went to play ARCADE basketball!... dear deaar! we achieved 42 points together!!!!! and we exchanged for a scotchtape and a pencil lead... hahahz! so memorable! =) then yup... we went to eat... and yes! got 'cheated" by lADies remember? hahazz..pretty lady can't be trusted! but i am "EXCEPTION"!!!!! HEHEZZ... Then yup.. got to go home le.. coz getting late... we bid goodbye and ya... starting to miss you again... =)

a usual yet special sch day!

the very day started with my darling waiting for me at the bench.... as usual we met and smILEZ! and chat... think its so BLESSED to get to see your loved ones everyday... then yup i complained i was hungry... within seconds he said lets go and get food... how thoughtful can he get,.... =) then ya.. though we didn't manage to eat together, we met up during econs and after sch... then we met lin su hui, and she said that my darling has slimed down! compliment or not? and i look rosier! =) darling, i didn't nui dai you right? =P ya.. my darling is alittle disheartened today... so darling, when you read this blog... i wanna tell you that yup! never bow to defeat... and dun be disheartened k? coz you've got someone that LOVES you A LOT! and thats me.... its a test, not prelims yet... still got time.. yup! always here to relieve your stress and sadness... never alone... can complain to me... guess got to end by saying, darling i love you.... always.

where are u darling..i need u..wher r u?

dear..its abt 825..body battered and bruised..need u..wan u so much this sat nite..shld have known better..miss u so much..wher r u..such a cold nite..so lonely..so lifeless..luv u so much..pains my heart to let u go..i cant be selfish..maybe i shld..

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing,
Watch you smile while you are sleeping,
While you are far away and dreaming,
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender,
I could stay lost in this moment forever,
Where a moment spent with you is a moment I treasure,

I don't want to close my eyes, I don't want to fall asleep,
Cause I miss you baby, And I don't want to miss a thing,
Cause even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do,
I still miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating,
And I wondering what you are dreaming,
Wondering if it's me you are seeing,
Then I kiss your eyes and thank god we're together,
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever and forever forever


And I don't want to miss one smile,
I don't want to miss one kiss,
I just want to be with you right here with you,
Just like this, I just want to hold you close,
I feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment,
For all of the rest of time

wher r u...i am so dead here..i miss u..

east coast

wowz...very very tiring day again..hmm..
yupz..we met up at abt 245yah at jemrt again..but my little darlin was early todae..unbeilivable ritez..haha saw her hair n stuff..she was so shy..but my dear..ur hair was fine..realli was..
reached east coast aft some lost paths n yupz started to cycle..
we got a twin-cycle..me at front she at back..very happy..very wen xin..but not fair! she didnt cycle me the whole journey..but even if she wans i wun allow..shes my oni precious so muz treat her e best..
dun wan her to tire out..haha..had fun riding fast n hearin my darling yell..reached e jetty where we sat a while n i said a wrong thing..promise her nvr to use it in front of her..broke it..felt bad..real guilty..didnt mean to..im sorry..
went on to ride n saw some palm trees n once again seat on the benches..think itr was realli romantic..wind blowin on a cloudy day..felt so fine inside..saw a "Bad" man..who haha..pee..
cycle all e way back..n yah some romantic songs..wanted to tell her so much that i love her...but darling was hungry..oh my she sacrifised pizza for me..im like so touched..i didnt likee pizza..she knew it..thats why we left for chicky leg..
got to ps..ate a lot of food..not realli by my standards..n yah got black carrot cake..guess cravin no more..haha..went hm with a fat belly..not oni me..my darlin too...
yes..sent her all e way hm..wanted to bid her a gd day n a gd nite..kiss her on ur head..darlin that took courage..but i love her so so much..didnt wana part..want to be with her for the rest of my life..love u dear..hope u had a gd time....

i juz saw him yestersay.......... thogh it was only a short meeting, it left me a sweet memory...... went to chen yi's house.... met up with him on bus 98. almost got up the wrong bus... phew.... yaa... he was in grey OBS shirt and i was in ORANGE OBs shirt! so coincidence! =) hehezz... then i had a craving for fried carrot cake, and he really went to search with me.... so sweeT!!!!!!! hehhezz.. after eating, we met a "cute" guy on the way........ he doesn't appeal to me k (in case somebody is jealous) (o",o)... coz i got him lee..... yaa... think it was a sweet short day...... i miss him le....

missin u

dear...after what happen yesterday..i realli didnt want to part..coz u look so so happy..didnt want our 7thmth to be like this..haiz..
n todae..u had to go buy presie...realli want to talk to u..miss u so much..but..i still got to mug..luv u deeply..

the best birthday in my 18 yrs!

30th of may was the best birthday celebration i ever had in my 18 yrs of life! able to celebrate with the one i loVE THE most! hehezz... the day started with me being late for hmm.... half an hour? feel so badzz........ but my darling dun mind at all... hahazz..so i shall be late next year too! =P then we went to have long john.... and sat all the way to pasir ris... woo! and its THEME PARK TIME! hahahahhazz...... we sat the FERRIS WHEEL for our warm up! then the innner rollar coaster..then to ALL THE EXCITING RIDES! WOWZ! unfortunately, there was a heavy downpour and we have to take shelter at burger king.... oh ya! my dear was so "motherly"! he assisted a lady to push her baby cot..... Thank god the rain stopped in time for us to catch the gOLD CART ride! we went to the wrong queue and waited for 45mins! coz we wanted an individual ride. but seeing that we waited so long, the assistant give in to our request... so nice! however, we felt a little guilty, making him in a difficult position, coz he rejected subsequent request by other customers..... Then we went to the advanced gold cart! wow! my darling drove so fast!!!!! but being the SWEETEST bf, he slowed down, and waited for me.. =)
HERE COMES final round! and thats where the "HANDS UP"INCIdent came in! hahahahaz.. we were so obedient, coz we are supposed to lift our hands for the lady to fasten our seat beltss. and we really did the actions together! think the lady was so AMUSED by our "obedience"! =P again! we sat the FERRIS WHEEL for our"cool down"...... wowzz.... what a lovely afternoon we had!
after our fun TIME! wmy dear treat me to my favourite dinner spot!!!! and that THAI EXPRESS! WOWZ!!!!!!!! THOugh i wasn't hungry, the thought of the soup sent my saliva drooling.. hehezz..
i really thank god for him in my life! coz he makes a normal 30th of may so SPECIAL! i really love the present! it was a present that really went through a lot of thinking and efforts! so thoughtful!(dear, i can feel it from my heart..... ) actually frm the bottom of my heart, i dun want any gifts..... really dear... i find you spending your time with me moST MEANINGFUL... =) though my darling can't spend 31st of may with me, but he has made everyday 31st of may till now...... i love you.

Love u....

dear darling..yah..u juz got ur little present n i hope u realli love it...
dear..i thought of many things before..i mean..sewing..peas..but i juz cant find time..n thats not an excuse..somehow..im sorry..for i want to even treat u better..
so i went lookin for a present..yes..i saw braclet.neckless..ear rings..but they looked so so plain..i mean..they look so normal..so decided to head for material stuff..n yah saw such a beautiful surf shorts..i mean..i noe my darling loves it..n yah..so instead of a dress..i got it..
so so worried..coz u look forward to e presie so much..so worried that i will dissapoint..realli..n yah..when i gave it to u..u were so shocked..hope u realli love it..although it might not mean a lot to others..it means a lot to me..saw ur smile..oh my..how i wish my life will be full of u..ur smile..u..
yupz..u said u love it..n that realli made me feel so so gd..dear..i cant bear to see u smile...coz it realli feels so so gd..
then we went hm..guess u were worried abt wat i said..but yah..i am fine...realli...how can i ever bear part with u..n let u walk alone in this world..i will hold on to u dear..i love u..i wun leave u..
Yupz..so so so gd..e smile..its like all i could ask for..dear..im sure there will be other guys..who will buy super X stuff for their girls..but i cant yet..But something i want to let u noe..i promise u eternal love and happiness that they cant..hope my love n the little gift is the best present...
i'll try to improve and love u even more k..coz i noe..thers no one that i love..more than u..
Happy Birthday..lookin forward to Sun :)
I LOVE U

What a surprise! =)

wowz! Today begins with us meeting in room 113.everything was normal, had our usual break... Didn't realise there was a plan all along to celebrate my birthday today....
hahazz.. Felt so loSS FOR words! GUESS WHAT! MY "loving" darling play a prank on me!!!!! Mr Liew.... hahazz.... That I bubbled some sentences without thinking.... hehezz....... But i meant it ...... Somehow I didn't thought of the "consequences".... So embarassING! Think everyone in class muz have freak out... hahhazz.. I really APPRECIATE it very much! Was surprisED too... Thank you 03S24(2003) ! Namely siyi,yi huiz, li yun, chen yi,ah dai,swee fong,chee siang, engsim,jingyuan and not forgetting my daRLING! hheezz.. Had a DELICIOUS CAKE and SUPER CUTE tiger! hahazz..... Then my dear sent me home coz he has no PE today...=)
afterwhich we went to IMM to eat long john! Guess what! It has a new waffle FRIES! Which will send your mouth drooling...! =) THOUGH TODAY IS NOT MY BIRTHDAY, BUT IT FELT SO specIAL.... SO SPECIAL... =)

everyday is a wonderful day

wowz..it was gg to be a busy busy day and once again..i slept late last nite..was rather bothered by the fact that im not working hard enough so i realli left my dear for some self-study time..i didnt mean to feel cold..i love her..
then we got back our results n we manage to pass our econs..e smile on my darling's face..finalli..was so great in my heart..she was happy..n whenever shes happy..i cant help but feel it that way too..
haha..soon cca time and my darling had to leave me..rather sad coz... but yah..couldn't tell her wat i was doin..i miss her..n didnt want her to go..hope and hope that she can feel it..but i realise i was so selfish..maybe thats part of love..or maybe its juz plain selfish of me..haiz..
got a new hairdo..(new as in hair gone) n slept thru my day..god i miss u..

test-time....

Well well....1st day back in sch gettin our results..as always chatted late last nitez...haha..slept too..but cant help but want to hear my dear's voice..she's the one i love the most..realli.
Cant wait to see her in school..every morning..lookin at my dear..its already a god-given blessing..cant believe how our love has grown..
But realli neglected her todae..nvr spend time during both breaks..they might be short..but they are worth every second of my life..i was so so so busy..
News broke n my darling didnt do well..gotto say she loooked sad..pains me so much to see a frown than a smile..i noe she put in effort le..i realli hope god sees and god helps..wanted to cheer her up..but also wanted to let her noe how serious exams are..
So we waited for 198..realli hard to put a smile on her face..hope everything is fine..and as always..thinking of her..
She's my life now.. don't take it away...

start of blogging

hi there...this is freddy...tryin to kick start a bloggy webbie that dedicates my life..my darling's life and whoever who have made an impact on our life..